News of the Right

First, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Right. Better now. On to the comics!

Madame Xanadu #2: Matt, you’ve restored my faith in your story-telling abilities. Don’t screw it up. A+

War Heroes #1: Have you ever ridden cross-country on a bus, surrounded by soldiers on holiday leave? I have, and, Deity love the troops, but I think half of them are insane or at least in desperate need of some reality therapy. Maybe some estrogen just to take the edge off. Seriously. I heard one guy give the most earnest account of how he had been stationed at Area 51, how it was all hush-hush and “every fucking thing you ever thought about that place is real, man!” at the top of his lungs. I’m not saying he was representative of the troops in general, just of the ones who take buses cross-country (how I wish he had been the only soldier of that kind I’ve met). Mark Millar seems to share my opinion. His war heroes are not noble nor are they caught in a situation of their control; they are in the war for the glory and the power. I fear Millar may be saying something about our broader culture - lionizing the troops and the war while we give up privacy and the safety of our children. The story is hardly nuanced, but it is intriguing. And condemning. A (it would have been an “A+” but Millar really needs to stop writing closing letters in his comics. He looks like a self-obsessed maniac.)

X-Men #500: Besides this being an historic moment for Marvel Comics, there had to be several reasons to publish this story. I’m guessing the primary reason was to completely undermine the premises Warren Ellis built in Astonishing X-Men #25, to say nothing of Simone’s designs. New place to live (and it’s GREEN. there’s lots of to do about how GREEN the new X-mansion is, to the point where Hank calls Logan “that awful little Canadian” for his non-GREEN, smog-loving ways). New costumes. New plot that has nothing to do with Ellis’ plot though the cast is exactly the same. And this “new plot” is depressingly old: Sentinels and Magneto? “Mutie” haters? Oh, dear. I know I’ve said 100 times before that I long for a return to the old days of comics, but I meant good writing, interesting stories, characters I can relate to, not actual old stories. Speaking of the Claremont Hole, Nightcrawler appeared out of nowhere! I know that’s his power, but he wasn’t shown as being a member of the team, in the SF area or even near the X-mansion, yet - BAMF! - he gets one word and one panel of face time, then falls back into the event singularity. Also, no less than three times did someone comment on the spectacular views of SF then completely fail to show us said views. It’s an anniversary issue: go crazy with the page count! And Greg Land, step away from the lightboard and take a drawing class. This kind of over-the-top reaction to the mayor of San Francisco’s stance on the First Amendment





is best left to posturing for an enemy who’s actually trying to kill the X-Men. F-

medectophobia

Helen Killer #3: What could be more damaging to the reputation of the sainted Helen Killer than to portray her as a whore? And while one is at it, why not put the image on the front cover of a comic book? Oh, the joy of iconoclasm! In the most over-the-top issue so far in a series that was halfway to the moon to begin with, Helen goes under-the-covers to scare up anarchist Elisha Grey in this penultimate chapter of the series. A+

1985 #3: Like Secret Invasion, 1985 is halfway done and there’s not a shred of evidence that the plot is going anywhere. Like Toby and his Dad’s encounter with Modok, there’s no urgency in the tale (really, that was the slowest getaway scene since Tuistas‘ interpretation of Esther Williams in a Richard Donner film). The surreal “now you see ‘em, now you don’t” of heroes and villains adds to mystery of the tale (the Big Questions being “Why are only villains popping into this world? (yeah yeah, there was the Hulk, but in 1985 he had been a full-fledged hero for, what, 20 minutes?)” and “What’s their Evil Agenda?”), but doesn’t take time to clue the reader in. I like how the Hulk and Juggernaut disappeared from Toby’s life because that seems to be the way real life would work: a chance encounter with a hero, before normal life takes over again (contrasted with the narcissistic “Rick Jones’ Method of Injecting Oneself into a Hero’s Life. Forever.”). However, I don’t like how they disappeared from the story (known as “Falling into a Claremont Hole”). I’ll glance at the next issue, but I’m thinking this is the one where I get off. D

Five things you need to know about The Dark Knight:

1. Christian Bale is an excellent Bruce Wayne, but his Batman needs a lozenge.
2. I’ve never seen the Joker as a violent sociopath, but more as an annoyance. Until Heath Ledger came along.
3. This is the first time when a villain team-up makes sense in a movie.
4. Listen for the words “need”, “want” and “deserve”. They will tell you everything you need to know about the plot.
5. The secondary cast members give performances just as demanding as the lead actors. Blink and you’ll miss Anthony Michael Hall.

Of course, the word on every comic geek’s lips this weekend is “Watchmen”, since the full-length trailer debuted in front of The Dark Knight. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve never read the graphic novel, and will probably be fined for saying so. I’ll have to pick up a copy and finish is before the poseurs do. I hate being in the middle of a phenomena.

Mattel crossed a line for some people by releasing the Black Canary Barbie, a tartier version of an already loose doll. The odd thing is, I really can’t find any original complaints online, just an article in The Sun that says people are upset.

OMG EEEEEEE Joss Whedon’s superhero musical “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Filion is online for this week only before going for sale on iTunes. I’ve always had a crush on Nathan Filion, but I fear that he’s been ousted from my heart by NPH. Of course, he’ll have to share space with Rick Schroeder, but ya know, should… anything… happen there while they’re… ya know, waiting for me like a pillow fight in their underwear, then, uhm…. yeah, I’d be cool with that.





Best line: “The hammer is my penis.”

metafiction

The script for Frater Mine #8 (”The Knights Come Riding”) was finished this just past weekend and already my brother has the cover ready to go!

Though, like the cover for issue 7, I have no idea why he’s supranumerated (if such a word exists) the issue. Ah well. I’ll blame it on the summer.

RAS syndrome vs. tautology

The BFF and I got our picture in the Austin American Statesman for going to the 100th Guerrilla Queer Bar event. Looks like we’re famous (yet, oddly, still single).

From Captions & Balloons, comes the next comic I can’t wait to read, Jesus Hates Zombies:

(via Chris’ Invincible Super-Blog)

Michael Chabon wrote an article for the New Yorker entitled “Secret Skin”, linking fashion and superhero costumes.

greedy bottom vs. power bottom

Wonder Woman #22: I’m not much for dream sequences because they’re never handled well (the exception being the “Restless” episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer), though in this issue Gail Simone certainly has the surreal overlapping of times and places down pat. This seems like a long way to go just to reintroduce some of DC’s old 1970’s characters, especially because they’re “not real”. I think. I’m really hoping for Beowulf and Claw pop into the real world to help Diana fight the Devil. Stalker’s really real, so why not them as well? Best line of the book: “Warmongering succulent!” A

Secret Invasion #4: Punch shoot punch shoot. Repeat. Secret Invasion is becoming less and less expansive each month and more and more pointlessly violent. I get that it’s a war and violence is part and parcel therein, but it feels unimportant. Each panel that shows someone getting the tar beaten out of them is one panel not dedicated to plot. As with Final Crisis, I look to Crisis on Infinite Earths as the gold standard of events. Why not pack each page full of battle and discovery and paranoia? Why have the heroes in the Savage Land been chasing Empress Spider-Woman around uselessly for half the story? She’s not trying to hide and from all indications she’s undefended and slow-moving. This may be the last issue for me. C-

Final Crisis: Requiem: I read Requiem in the comics store and was touched by the story, but I refused to buy it in protest for the shabby and ignominious way in which J’onn J’onzz was dispatched by the powers-that-be at DC. I know that every ….Crisis at DC requires casualties, and the editors pick their victims for shock and awe value, but I don’t see why it had to be J’onn, especially since I don’t think he’ll stay dead long. C’mon, when he telepathically contacted all his friends, different parts of their faces were subverted by his. I see a Wrath of Khan resurrection coming up which makes me more grumpy than the death in the first place. I’m really hoping that Final Crisis resets all of the DCU so the stories can be finally unburdened by years and years of bizarre continuity. Sadly, with the main titles barely even mentioning the current Crisis and Trinity only a few weeks into its year-long run, I don’t see that happening. I guess I can look forward to being surprised by Grant Morrison’s next several issues.

Other News: Witchblade: the Complete Series will be available July 29, 2008. Even better, Friday the 13th: the Series will be available September 23, 2008. I loved these shows and cannot wait to possess them on DVD!

Comics Should be Good has an exhaustive list of Comic Book Urban Legends which, in addition to their regularly expansive articles, will cost you hours and hours of productivity to get through (they’re nearing 200 stories as I write this). Celebrity porn for the comic book set.

Brian Andersen of So Super Duper fame has a new comic book coming out: Reignbow and Dee-va which he’s hoping to finish up in time for Comic Con. He’s been nice enough to send along a few preview pages. Click to see the full-sized images.













Finally, Claymation seems to be a theme in my life this week (maybe the Universe was prepping me for the opening sequence from Hellboy II), begun by the following two videos. I try to avoid posting from YouTube because one never knows how long the videos will be available for, but I’ll make an exception here. The first is from a dark “children’s” movie called The Adventures of Mark Twain; anyone remember this from their childhood? The second is Primus’ cover of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. Funny, but one of these days, someone has to give Johnny’s reels a bump up to the truly ecstatic. Frankly, had I been judging, the Devil would have won.









Happy Saturday!

From Accordion Guy comes news of The Map of Humanity, a stellar (or terran, but better) piece of para-cartography by comic creator James Turner. Click on the map above for a substantially larger view, and click on Accordion Guy’s link above to read more about it.

I’m wondering who I can sell to get me one of these mounted and framed. For those heading to Comic Con, you can get them at the SLG Publishing booth (#1815).

Thanks to Joveth Gonzalez for the heads up!

UPDATE: MY BROTHER GOT ME THIS FOR OUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!

pomosexual

From Scott McGrath and Juan Romera come images of Frater Mine #7, “Through the Wave that Runs for Ever”. At the end of issue six Matt, Mark and Colleen became fugitives from the law. With so much at stake, why does a fuzzy magical bunny take center stage in issue 7?

UPDATE: Oops! The cover says it’s for issue 8, but it’s really for issue 7.

pannapictagraphist

Astonishing X-Men #25: Warren Ellis and Simone Bianchi take over for Whedon and Cassady and actually make changes to the X-Men (the most prominent and well-advertised of which is their move to San Francisco)! The dialogue is banterful and the watchword for the series is “CSI”. My only complaints are Armor (she’s the latest ingenue? Ugh. Hardly a worthy successor to Kitty or Jubilee) and her tiresome “make me and X-man” paean; the clunky depictions of Ororo (the Julie Taymor-inspired headdress can hardly be aero-dynamic); and the dark, muddy colors (seriously. Hold the issue at arm’s length and page = my cake in MacArthur Park). B+

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #16: Yay seeing Fray again! Yay Dawn as a centaur! Yay Kennedy and Willow! Yay Kennedy threatening Buffy! Yay getting back to the Big Bad for the series (finally!)! A

Manhunter #32: As ever, Manhunter stands free from the “events” twisting the DCU inside out this year (though the subplots bump into Batman’s and the Justice League’s Big Players), and she’s doing just fine without that mess because she’s already in plenty of trouble. What I like most about Manhunter is that it’s free to develop interesting plots and relationships that don’t need to be reconciled to 70+ years of baggage. I see folks have been accusing Marc Andreyko of pushing his liberal agenda in this arc, but the questions are “is this a problem if the story is set in El Paso?” and “Is Kate herself is a liberal?”; I mean, she hunts down criminals and has killed several of them during her time as a hero. Is this liberalism? Conservativism? Anarchism? A+

Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #1: I wanted to like this series, especially after the enjoyable Shazam and the Monster Society of Evil, but I’m still a bigger fan of the classic Shazam! Family stories from the 70’s. It’s a cute comics, but Captain Marvel is just a Billy Batson in a bulkier body, unlike Smith’s version which showed them as two separate personalities (they could even talk to each other). After the horribly odd and poorly-paced Trials of Shazam! and the ridiculous abuse of Mary Marvel in Countdown, I wonder if anyone knows how to write these characters well. C+

Heresy #1: It took me three reads to get into the story of Heresy mostly because of the art. Not that the art is hideous or anything, but the photo-realistic style makes it difficult to distinguish one dark-haired guy from another; luckily, the dialogue repeats the characters’ names enough times that I was able to sort out who was who before I lost interest, which would have been a shame. It’s a mystery story, so not everything is revealed at once, but what we learn connects post-Tsar Russia with a modern experiment with (I’m guessing) reanimated tissue. Pre-order at Ape Entertainment. B+

Stephen King’s The Stand: While not available until August, I got a sketchbook of the adaptation this week. The art looks good, but I’m always wary of adaptations; they never seem to carry the tone of the books through them, which should be the easiest thing on the world to do with the right artist. Look at Gaiman’s Neverworld comic or The Dresden Files - the artists were completely wrong for what the books are about, to say nothing is the useless and distracting the extra-textual material that took away time from actual textual material. I’m not saying this is the case for The Stand, but my first red flag (hee hee, pun) went up when I saw the nuclear explosion on the cover.

The Columbus COSI is not only host to the inordinately fun CSI: The Experience, but also to a GIGANTIC skeleton (click for the full effect):

According to COSI representitive, Claire Paul, the skeleton is

A sculpture by Tim Rietenbach, an associate professor at the Columbus College of Art & Design. Originally funded from an individual artist grant from the Ohio Arts Council and created for Springfield Museum of Art. This skeleton is 100 feet long, 30 feet higher than the COSI Atrium. It was constructed from fifty rolls of 14-gauge fencing material weighing approximately 1,500 pounds.The skull itself is 11 feet high. Installation of GIGANTIC at COSI is made possible through financial support from: The Greater Columbus Arts Council, The Columbus College of Art & Design. Installed at COSI July 2003.

I was thrilled to see both while in Columbus this past May. I can’t wait to get my nephew there to play.

galdoring

Two stories via Joe.My.God:

Amazon.com’s Kindle takes the weight of college students’ backs.

Tippi Hedren is reincarnated as a Barbie doll:

from Jesus’ General, via Pam’s House Blend, posters of two men who are pushing a new Marriage Protection Amendment forward: Larry Craig and David Vitter:

I’ve been away from “That’s My Bag” for a few weeks for two reasons: I was trying to get my review of Justin Hall and Dave Davenport’s Hard to Swallow #3 for Prism Comics (which turned out to be much better as an interview (can I say how much these guys crack me up?)), and for two weeks when I went to ABC there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without or I would buy one book and not want to talk about it on its own. Finally this week I have five books to review.

Grendel: Behold the Devil #8: Whu..? But she said… And then he… Why did…? Fail. F

1985 #2: The first of my ambivalent reviews. I like it, but the build-up is a bit slow, like the story is being parsed out so it can support six issues instead of four. Of course, it could be that the plot is so awesome that it requires this much groundwork to be laid before said awesomeness can be revealed. Here’s hoping. B

Final Crisis #2: I didn’t hate this issue, but at the same time I didn’t see any reason to love it. I still don’t know how Final Crisis can be going on at the same time as Trinity, but there’s no reference to one in the other. Also, didn’t Turpin meet Darkseid’s new body last issue? So, why is he now being referenced as “the father of Kalibak”? Have the gods of Apokalypse gone viral? I’m intrigued if only because the information presented so far is too sparse to see the Big Picture, but far-ranging enough to know there is a Big (if not Supremely Large) Picture to be seen. But, really, what does a barroom brawl between metas in Tokyo have to do with anything and will it be worth the 8 out of 30 pages spent on it (I’m actually hoping Sonny Sumo will turn out to be Barda and with Mister Miracle being a mysterious black man, well… go, gay gods, go!). B

Madame Xanadu #1: I’ve been hurt by you before, Matt Wagner, and you know what it is you’ve done to me. Yes, I’ve seen you become unnecessarily intent on your choice of cold cuts at the supermarket when you see me pass through produce. It’s your guilt, Matt. You can’t bring yourself to look at me and with good reason. You should feel bad about what you’ve done, and if you lead me astray again with Madame Xanadu, I’ll give up all pretense of us trying to “just be friends.” (a cautious) A

Wonder Woman #21: I know Gail has a plan for this story arc, but I wish she’d clue the rest of us in. Also, I’ve seen Diana’s red talon before; I just can’t remember where. B

quisling

The White House Office of Youth Purity has established two websites extolling the virtues of abstinence-only lifestyles: the first of which is for the boys - Sex is for FAGS!.

With Gibraltar-strong testimonials such as these:





how can i even think about engaging in pre-martial sex again? I even took their vow:

I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.

2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.

3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.

4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.

5. To never spill my sacred “dude milk” – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.

I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:

The regret and guilt caused by the disgusting, squishy act of stupid sex, which is basically like going to the toilet from the front side.

Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers.

Catching a brain-rotting STD like “Finger Herpes” from “feeling up” any nasty dirty girlie holes.

There is also Iron Hymen for vagino-Americans of a certain age.

While they have pledges and t-shorts, too, they also have TEN THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOYS AND THEIR VILE PRIVATE PARTS, in which First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush proves how totally fair and accurate in reporting she can be. For example:

1.) Unlike your girly privates, which are internal, boy privates are external. God knew that nobody wanted to see all our lady mess, so He pushed everything up inside you. What in tarnation He was thinking when he came up with that nasty, dangling, squishy flesh on boys beats the heck out of me, but I suspect it was so it would be easier for Him to keep an eye on what they’re up to. Because trust me: that grotesque grab bag of horror and disappointment is always up to something, gals.

Flawless.

Hie to the appropriate site and get yourself something pretty.

via Joe.My.God

Last Thursday

per se

I used to have the basic boxed set of Villains & Vigilantes (plus three modules - Crisis at Crusader Citadel, Death Duel with the Destroyers and The Island of Doctor Apocalypse - but gave it to my cousins after staying at their house one summer. I have no idea why I did that, nor why I want it all back so badly.

An aside: that was also the summer I discovered Star Blazers. I wonder if there’s a connection.

Prism Comics: Your LGBT Guide to Comics 2008 has finally arrived in stores! As ever, the Guide looks back on the GLBTQ (or whatever order/nature of the acronym you prefer) comic events/characters of 2007 as well as offers some original articles and comics. Edited by the oh-so-adorable Jonathan Riggs with a wrap-around cover by a man I’ve never heard of before but am terribly taken by, Jackademus

My contribution is called “Gods and Gays”, which Jonathan was able to focus into a survey of “how gay readers view the theology of comics”, rather than the daunting “compleat history of God in comics and what the gays think of Him” I had originally envisioned. The article, redacted and superbly accessorized with appropriate comic panels, looks better than I had imagined (and I imagined it being great to start with), but, sadly, is shorter than the 10,000+ word monster I handed in. So, for those who are interested, I’ve put the uncut version here. Other articles to check out are PKA’s “A Queer Comic Report Card”, MK Czerwiec’s “Night Nurse”, Andrea Speed’s “Gay, Straight or Drawn That Way?”, Mike Buzzelli’s “A Tale of Two Gay X-Men, Briefly”, Brian Andersen’s “High School Dance Confidential” and “The Insidious Dr. Gray Matter Answers your Stupid Questions”. There’re also over 100 pages of comic book art which should give readers months and months’ worth of reading material once they track the full books down.

Good news aside, more than any other year, there’s something a little “off” about the Guide this year. Nothing horrible, mind you, but there seems to be within its pages a call for something more than what the Guide has been up so far. The two articles that exemplify this are “Love & Literature” by Edward Beekman-Myers and “Transgender Day of Remembrance” by Jenn Dolari. In the former, there is the briefest mention of Cyclops and J. K. Rowling (since when has she been doing comics?), but overall, the article homilizes about attaining true love and literary success by being a trooper and making lemonade out of lemons. I was hard-pressed to figure out (and actually never did) why this was included because, as far as I know, Prism isn’t in the advice-to-the-lovelorn business. In the latter, there is less made of the comics project Dolari created to expand awareness of transgendered issues than the issues themselves. Again, neither of these were horrible, but their tangentialness to comics leaves me to believe that there is a desire to look at the broader picture of “the lives of gays who read comics” rather than just “gays in comics” - something I’ve taken to calling “the Prism/PK dichotomy”. It will be interesting to see how this plays out in next year’s Guide.

Strangeness from eBay via my friend Scully. What really gets me is that people bid on it and won (for $1.02). This guy actually had a loss of profit on this as the shipping will cost more than the bid earned him. No Love Boat cruise to Acapulco for their honeymoon, I guess.

I created the PRAXIS team during my freshman year at Mercyhurst College while taking a class called “The Religious Person” under Mary Hembrow Snyder. She taught us that “praxis” was the word for “action”, the “thing to do”, which for me meant it could be a great comic book team name (an aside: Dr. Snyder really was the one who taught me to get my writing under control). I probably created 50 characters that year but never got around to writing a story nor actually doing anything with the characters.

Until now.

From the pen of the frighteningly talented Juan Romera (and soon to be a full-tilt boogie book in a comic store somewhere in the world) here’s PRAXIS!

fellow traveler

Ten year old knows more about saving taxpayers’ money than this government.

Iraq says fish and the US stink after five years.

Why not Vincent D’Onofrio again? Please?

The right’s obsession with mushroom cloud imagery continues.

The Doomsday Vault. Now that’s thinking ahead. Fatalistically.

Louisiana governor and erstwhile exorcist Jindal says I.D. is a science.

Bambi Wiccan

Yeas ago, I saw the Lloyd Webber oddity Aspects of Love when it first opened on Broadway. Yes, I saw it with the hot-but-then-fat-but-then-back-to-human-proportions Michael Ball, for those of you who are as in love with his voice as I am you’ll know what I mean. The show was a delight if not weighted down by themes of incest and statutory rape. The essentail story is about Alex who falls in love with Rose who falls in love with Alex’ Uncle George who loves Giulietta who begins and affair with Rose and George before Rose becomes pregnant with George’s daughter who, as a 15 year-old, falls in love with he substantially older first cousin Alex who reciprocates, killing George and driving Alex to screw Giulietta at the funeral before all three women press him for his eternal devotion. All the salaciousness is whimsically shown in this video to the theme tune “Love Changes Everything”:

Today I found a recording by Forbidden Broadway this is supposed to be a parody of the song (and the show), but is more of a reiteration of the plot. Of course, good parody is supposed to be opaque.

Poiesis

Manhunter #31: YAY!!!! Manhunter is back!!! I’ve been waiting for this issue since last summer when DC announced the the title’s non-non-non-cancellation, and Marc Andreyko doesn’t disappoint (I can’t say “it was worth the wait” because nothing is worth waiting a year for. I’m impatient by nature. Penelope was a rube.). He’s managed to jump back into the storyline and not lose a word of style. Big plus: Obsidian makes an appearance! Bigger plus: Special guest appearance!! A+

House of Mystery #2: I still don’t know how I feel about House of Mystery. I like the centerpiece stories, but the “plot” doesn’t do much for me. The characters are interesting, but they don’t do anything interesting except act confused, which isn’t all that interesting. B

Kick Ass #3: This kid doesn’t learn. And that is the appeal of the story. Dave is either out for the fame of being a hero or he’s really trying to make a difference in the world, but either way, he rushes blithely into danger knowing he doesn’t have the power to back-up his advances. This issue is more of a bloody mess than the previous ones with no upper limit in sight. A+

Secret Invasion #3 SPOILER: So, Tony Stark is a Skrull. Did anyone NOT see that coming???? And the spaceship Captain America is the real deal???? And if Cap-who’s-dead is really a Skrull, can be believe a Skrull would die so nobly for Myspace? Is this like one of those Battlestar Galactica Final Five sleeper Cylons who never knew they were Cylons until a switch was flipped? I can’t wait for someone to explain when all these exchanges happened, but, honestly, do I even care anymore? Uh… no. No, I don’t. And the tie-ins? One time my students were talking about how much they loved the Kelly Clarkson song “Because of You”, and I said I really didn’t get what being afraid to stand on the sidewalk had to do with anything else in the song. One student said, “Oh well, that’s covered in the music video. You have to see the video to really understand.” and for a second - a very rare second in my teaching life - I completely camped out and drawled like Edwina Monsoon, “WATCH THE VIDEO? It’s a Kelly Clarkson song and you’re telling me there are SUPPLEMENTARY materials that enhance the listening experience, darling? Is THAT what you’re telling me?” Which applies to SI tie-ins, too. D

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #15: I was wrong. “Wolves at the Gate” managed to close off in a satisfactory way in only one issue, even though the Rule of Joss was in full force for the hapless Xander. Really, is Mrs. Whedon under any kind of security detail because if I were her, I’d worry. And not sign any huge life insurance policies. Also, it was good to see Willow and Buffy share a friendly moment, even if the Dark Waters of Magic threaten to drown Willow at every turn. A+

Could I love Spacedog’s Helen Killer any more?

Actually, yes, I could, but first the good news. I have to give Kreisberg and Rice their due for avoiding the “second issue slump”, the annoying tendency of mini-series’ quality dropping off after a heady first issue. Helen Killer #2 pumps out the action from page one and brings Helene face-to-face with her arch nemesis, then unfortunately ends before they can exchange names. Hands down, this is the strangest and borderline tackiest para-history I’ve ever read, but, being a teacher of the deaf by day, I get no small thrill out of a comic book challenging the sacrosanct image of Hellen Keller. No doubt she was the original poster girl for “Deaf can do anything…”, but to see her do all these dirty deeds as a sighted- and hearing-person has raised more than a few eyebrows with my students.

The bad news is not all that bad: I want to see more of Helen’s character develop. The times that truly thrill me are when she has an interior monologue. I’d like to know what she’s thinking when the Omnicle is off. I mean, all that rage has got to come from somewhere. Helen can’t be a saint or a sinner with the flip of a switch alone. I want to know about Helen-in-the-dark.

If you haven’t picked up an issue yet, do it today! A

A warning from the grave or a final “nyah nyah”?

Transformers is “offensive“.

“Iraqi protesters” ray-gunned down.

Once again, the gays move in and make things better in the ‘hood.

Church welcomes everyone.. oh, except this kid.

Google maps told to take a detour.

As someone more clever than I said, “Seattle’s Breast” works better.

Rachel Ray, jihadist.

Larry Craig should quit while he’s ahead.

Once again, the Vatican proves it is 2,000 years old with its pre-ERA stances.