The Buffalo Beast, whom I do not know nor whose website have I had time to look at thoroughly, has published his (or her; again, I’m just finding out about this) list of the Top 50 Most Loathsome People in America of 2007. The list is bound to spark controversy because it hits all sides of the political and social spectra, but I personally like #9:

You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism — it’s nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears’ children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you’re going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase “enhanced interrogation techniques.” You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can’t spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don’t want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy’s doing well. You’re an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn’t get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn’t cover. You deserve it, chump.

Harsh, eh?

In less acerbic news, The Beast visited the Creation Museum, and was neither smitten nor arrested, though why not remains a mystery. If nothing else, one has to admire his sense (yes, the Beast is a him!) of humor and daring-do.

Cast your eyes now to Jeffrey Howell of Scottsdale, AZ, who is fighting a lawsuit brought on by the Recording Industry Association of America for having MP3s of songs he legally purchased on CD. Can’t wait to see where this goes.