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January 29, 2008

Comic Recommendations

by @ 9:46 pm. Filed under comic books, recommendations


“Why not?” indeed!

The folks at Dynamite are bringing together two media icons that I would never have pictured together, but, damn, now that I see them side-by-side, it makes so much sense!


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The cross-over no one asked for — or expected — is finally here! Too big for the movie or television screens, Dynamite presents the ultimate “Why Not?” tale as Ash and the Army of Darkness meet Xena, the Warrior Princess in the first issue of this 4-part mini series event!

Written by master … uh, scribe, John Layman and illustrated by Miguel Montenegro, the first issue of our most unnecessary adventure finds Ashley J. Williams transported to the world of Xena and Gabrielle and, most importantly, Autolycus, who, of course, bears more than a passing resemblance to our main man, Ash. Throw in the Necronomicon and an evil little Ash taking charge of a group of fairies (the winged kind) and hey, you’ve got yourselves a story! Featuring two covers, one by UDON studios and the other by Fabiano Neves!


Due out in March! Place your orders now!

January 27, 2008

Points of Interest

by @ 1:53 pm. Filed under news briefs


“Canadian” is the latest code word for the N-bomb.

In a fit of timeliness, the FCC is fining 52 ABC affiliates $1.4 million for showing a woman’s bare buttocks on NYPD Blue. Back in 2003.

Scholastic segregation. It’s not just for the 50’s anymore.

Davy and Stu

by @ 1:30 am. Filed under gay, movies, shorts


The best friend and I had our usual Saturday night tonight - dinner (pot roast and mashed potatoes) and a movie (two, actually: Boy’s Life 6 and Ocean’s 13). We saw Boy’s Life 1 during our time in grad school and still remark about how sweet it was (I especially like Friend of Dorothy), and while BL6 is nowhere near as uniformly sweet, one short, Davy and Stu, momentarily split the crusty shells around both our hearts and made us go “Awh!”

I’ve posted it here for you. Enjoy and go “Awh!”


Davy and Stu
Uploaded by kollioster

Word sex

by @ 12:38 am. Filed under word sex


micturate

January 26, 2008

That’s My Bag

by @ 12:17 am. Filed under Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Grendel, Rex Mundi, The Twelve, This Week in Comics, Wonder Woman, X-Men, comic books, reviews



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Wonder Woman #16: I need to go back and re-read the issue that explained where this story takes place and how Diana can access Paradise Island again (if indeed the story takes place on Paradise Island at all), but just knowing how well Gail Simone has been handling the Amazon Princess so far, I’m sure this misunderstanding is completely my fault. Simone even managed to touch me in a deep deep place this issue - one of Captain Nazi’s soldier’s told an underling to burn the library on Themiscyra!!! The evil!!! A+

Astonishing X-Men #24: I will miss this storyline and this team (the X-men and the mundane creative one), but it seems that with the “death” of the X-Men at the end of The Messiah Complex that everyone is going to be re-arranged. Again. At least we get one more issue out of the whole thing - “Giant Sized Astonishing X-Men #1″ - but not until April. The art is stunning, as usual. My favorite panel is the X-Men fighting on the surface of the retaliator, space Breakworld and beyond laid out before them in stunning perspective. A+

Grendel: Behold the Devil #3: Thank God(s/dess) that Argent wasn’t the presence haunting Grendel (in both identities, we find out this issue), because Argent is so… unsubtle (as we also find out this issue, if we didn’t know before). Still, Wagner isn’t dropping any hints (I think) and that’s getting a bit annoying; however, the action sequences and the last line of the issue more than make up for that. A

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #10: Was Andy Owens just going out of his way to be bewildering in this issue for kicks or is this part of a plan? The story overall was great (and sad a bit - not only about the lies revealed but also learning the purpose of The Twilight), but some of the dialogue defied comprehension. Things didn’t seem so bad before, nothing the gang couldn’t handle, right? But now, everyone looks pretty tainted. A-

The Twelve #0 - 1: JMS digs deep into Marvel’s vaults to find his team in this 12 issue mystery mini-series. Issue 0 is a hoot and a half, seeing all the old-time drawings and plot devices. And, man, are they violent! I was stunned by the amount of death (then again the number of times “kill” and “death” are said in The Superfriends stuns me, too) in them. An interesting read. B+

Rex Mundi: The Guardian of the Temple: Why has no one ever told me about this incredible book before?? A

January 25, 2008

Ice cream and Bananas Bruleé

by @ 11:14 pm. Filed under Good Eats, food porn


Alton Brown. A goof among men. Bill Nye the Science Guy of the Kitchen. And I learn at his knees.

I borrowed part of one of his recipes tonight to make myself dessert. He called it “bananas bruleé” and it’s so easy to make and damn impressive (uhm… yeah, I actually did this to make someone jealous, though I’m sure that didn’t happen). All you need is your favorite ice cream (Blue Bell’s Hot Fudge Sundae for me!), a burn-proof surface, a banana, sugar, a knife and a butane torch (I’m gay; of course I have a butane torch in my kitchen).


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Cut the banana in half vertically then again down the axes of both halves, then pour a thin (or thick; it’s your ass, after all) layer of sugar on the flat surfaces.


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Then take your torch to the sugar and burn it ’til it caramelizes (this is the fun/impressive part).


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Give the sugar a minute or two to harden up while you scoop the ice cream into a bowl, then add the bananas in a decorative or suggestive arrangement. Top as you see fit (sadly, I was out of chocolate sauce and whipped cream. And cherries. And nuts. Really, I was lucky I had ice cream.) and make someone special happy (even if it’s just you).


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YUM!!!

“We don’t need no education”

by @ 7:00 pm. Filed under education, kvetch


Unless u gonna pays us.

This is what is passing for “innovative education” these days:

FAIRBURN, Ga. (AP) - Learning is supposed to be its own reward, but when that doesn’t work, should students get paid to do it? That’s the question two Georgia schools are asking in a 15-week pilot program that is paying high-schoolers struggling in math and science $8 an hour to attend study hall for four hours a week. The privately-funded “Learn & Earn” initiative, an idea from former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, is touted as the first of its kind in the state and one of a few similar programs nationwide. “We want to try something new,” said Jackie Cushman, Gingrich’s daughter and co-founder of the group funding the initiative. “We’re trying to figure out what works. Is it the answer? No. Is it a possible idea that might work? Yes.”

Forty students at Bear Creek Middle School and Creekside High School, both in the Atlanta suburb of Fairburn, began participating in the program Tuesday. The eighth- and 11th-graders chosen had to be under-performing in math and science, and many are eligible for free or reduced-cost lunches.

The hope is that the bribes will boost students’ motivation to learn, attend class and get better grades. Aside from the hourly wage, eighth-graders will get a $75 bonus, and 11th-graders $125, if they improve their math and science grades to a B and achieve certain test scores. For the older kids, that adds up to $605 for a semester of studying.

Cushman said the initiative is aimed at math and science because many student struggle in those subjects even if they excel in others.

The offer could help poor students who need the money and otherwise might choose a minimum-wage job over studying, said Jerome Morris, an associate professor at the University of Georgia’s College of Education. He also noted that parents who have the means to reward their children for performing well in school have done so for decades.

“Poor families just can’t do that,” Morris said. “They have to tell their children, ‘You have to go to school just to learn.’”

The director of a private center aimed at improving motivation, however, said plying kids with cash is a desperate move by school officials. “They have not figured out a way to self-motivate these kids,” said Peter A. Spevak, director of the Center for Applied Motivation in Washington, D.C. “What really drives a person is the desire to do well and the good feeling you have after doing your best every day.” Paying children to learn may work in the short term, but before long, the luster could wear off and they may look to up the ante, Spevak said. Ultimately, it could become a losing game. “When you take the money away, assuming it has been effective, people sometimes get angry or disillusioned,” he said. “They may start to wonder where the next prize is coming from.”

The $60,000 initiative is being funded by Atlanta businessman Charles Loudermilk, founder of Aaron Rents, through the Learning Makes a Difference Foundation Inc., an Atlanta-based nonprofit that funds innovative education programs and was founded by Gingrich’s daughters.

Alexis Yarger, one of the Fairburn program’s participants, is eager to try anything to improve her grades. The 16-year-old Creekside junior plans to attend Spelman College, and says that although she’s doing OK in science, “Math is not my best.” Yarger, who has a part-time job at Burger King, said she was interested in the program even before she heard about the financial incentives. She would have taken part even without the money, she said, but her father said the cash doesn’t hurt. “It’s a good motivational tactic,” Anthony Yarger said. “Whether it’s a dollar or a candy bar, if it’s helpful, I support it.”

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


As an educator, I find it very hard to attribute any sort of “innovation” to this program, nor do I find much in the ways of “education” therein. What I see are bribes (the article said it first; I just happen to agree with it) that are supposed to motivate students to study more and (perhaps) learn more. Here’re the problems I see:

1. What motivated students 60 years ago? I’ll have to ask my Mom, but what got her going to school in the morning when she was a teenager (in the 50’s nonetheless)? A deep-seated need to learn? A love for the written word? An obsession with math? Fear of my grandparents’ wrath? Probably the wrath. And i know my grandparents wanted their kids to have to work less hard than they did (both my grandparents worked in factories every day until they retired), so the wrath was, no doubt, motivated by love, but it was still wrath. Hell, even the kids I went to school with (whether my friends went to private or public school) were terrified to disappoint their parents (though we had our fair share of slackers (for private school), most of whom didn’t make it to graduation). And I’d have to say that kids these days aren’t scared of their parents like we were. Looking at some of the kids i teach/have taught, I know my parents would have murdered me in my sleep and buried me in the cabbage patch if I behaved the way they do. With love, of course.

2. Is it really a function of economics? It seems too simplistic to say that, but this program seems to cater to the idea that poor kids need financial motivation to succeed, and that it is impossible to go to school and have a part-time job after school and do one’s homework. Yet, I know all of my friends had jobs growing up, and we all did well in school. So, what else is there? Granted, we were all hopelessly middle-class (in attitude if not in actual assets), but I knew kids whose families were in dire straits at times (like mine, though my Mom did a good job of hiding it). So, why not now? I can’t believe it’s only economics.

3. Knowledge is everyone’s right. It is my belief that knowledge is free for the asking and that it is never idle. Eventually, one bit of information in one’s head is going to hook up with another bit of information and voilà: intelligence! Knowledge is free and everyone should have access to it.

4. School is becoming less and less of a right and more and more of a privilege. But from the bottom up, which means that students see school as a burden, so instead of demanding better education, they demand less of it. However, in this, they are like many adults who traded their rights for more security after 9/11, and look where that’s gotten us. I fear in the next 100 years, school will be an option, not a requirement. Hell, 100 years ago, only 31 states required children to attend school, so it’s not like the “in school ’til you’re 18″ idea has been around for long time. It could change again at any time.

5. What about students who do well already? How unfair is this?

6. Are there just too many kids in the world? I think there may be too many kids and not enough teachers, but can you blame people for not wanting to teach? Teaching is not a glamorous career, the rewards few, the pay little, the stress high and the support (from parents (who want their kids to be educated but unchallenged) and administrators (who don’t want to go one or two rounds with the parents on tough issues) nil. And it seems that the middle (as in “teaching to the middle”) gets closer to “the bottom” every year. I fear for my nephew who will be starting kindergarten next year. Dominic is a bright little kid (duh, given who his father is) and I would hate to see him go through school unchallenged because the standards have been set so low. Hell, I would hate that for anyone’s kids.

Thoughts? Ideas? Am I totally off base here?

In other unbelievable news, a minor teen boarded a plane with handcuffs, duct tape and a rope on his person. His plan was to hijack the plane and fly it into a building where Hannah Montana would be performing. Way to go airport security! It makes me feel soooooo safe inside knowing the f-ing PATRIOT ACT is working, and I only had to have some of my civil liberties sacrificed for it. Let’s see if the kid is charged as a crazy teen or as a terrorist. Really, there’s no “right” answer here per se, I just want to see how it’s handled.

Assclowns.

January 23, 2008

It’s art. No really.

by @ 1:01 am. Filed under adult, art, comic books


Otherwise I’d have to post some sort of porn disclaimer. And we’re a family business here.

Whatever your feelings about male frontal nudity, photographer Ryan Pfluger has an exhibit in New York’s Envoy Gallery featuring comic booky (and some non-comic booky) pieces such as this:


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That is art. Hot art. Hot art with comics. What more does a man need?

–via the good folks at Dudetube.

January 22, 2008

Gone.

by @ 7:59 pm. Filed under celebrity, death notice


I didn’t see him as number three coming at all:

Academy Award nominee Heath Ledger, 28, has died of a possible drug overdose involving sleeping pills in New York, police have confirmed.

The actor was sick with pneumonia when he died, the TMZ.com website reports, saying it had been contacted by representatives of Ledger’s family, who said they’d been told by police that the actor’s death was accidental.

The representatives said the family was particularly distraught over media speculation that he may have taken his own life.

“The medical examiner, once he or she conducts an autopsy, will determine exactly the cause of death.”

He said police were continuing to treat the New York apartment, where Ledger was found dead, as a crime scene, but had initially ruled out foul play.

Ledger was found dead in his bed at his apartment on Broome Street, SoHo, in Manhattan, by his housekeeper about 3.35pm local time.

Ledger’s body was removed from his New York apartment and wheeled into the back of a medical examiner’s van.

A huge crowd of news photographers gathered outside the apartment in the SoHo building lit up the scene with flashes as authorities wheeled his body on a trolley from the complex into the van.

A police spokesman told smh.com.au the cause of death was unknown, despite the presence of drugs. “We don’t have that [the cause of death] yet. The matter is still under investigation,” the spokesman said.

Ledger was naked and unconscious, The New York Times reported.


Why he was naked is being reported is anyone’s guess. Poor guy - not only to die in the all together and be discovered by his housecleaner and masseuse, but to know that his EMT-certified bodyguard was just around the corner “visiting” the Olson twins (probably giving them a blood transfusion) is just undignified.

Now I want to watch Brokeback Mountain again.

UPDATE: Whoops! Suzanne Pleshette went before Heath did.  Now there was an actress!

UPDATE: The overused and often mis-used “tragic” (or “tragedy”) has been spotted in connection with Heath’s passing: here, here, here, here, here, and here. When people trot out this word every time someone dies it cheapens the meaning of the word, especially when it’s used to describe Anna Nicole Smith and Virginia Tech and Darfur. Somehow, not all these events seem tragic. Guess which do and don’t.

UPDATE: Still no word from the Widow Gyllenhaal. She must be devastated.

January 21, 2008

19th ANNUAL GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS NOMINEES

by @ 2:46 pm. Filed under 2007, GLAAD, awards


While GLAAD will not give the comic book awards first, I’m going to report them first. I’m not familiar with The Boys nor The Outsiders (though I’m guessing it has little to do with the S. E. Hinton book, as hot as that would be). From the list, it looks like GLAAD doesn’t do novels. I guess they let the Lambda Literary Awards take care of that (the fact I’ve only heard of only a handful of these books makes me feel horribly under-read).

Now the nominees:

Comic Book
American Virgin by Steven T. Seagle (Vertigo/DC Comics)
The Boys by Garth Ennis (Dynamite Entertainment)
Midnighter by Garth Ennis, Brian K. Vaughan, Christos Gage, Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti, and Keith Giffin (Wildstorm/DC Comics)
The Outsiders by Judd Winick, Greg Rucka, and Tony Bedard (DC Comics)
Strangers in Paradise by Terry Moore (Abstract Studio)

more nominees after the fold

January 20, 2008

Word sex

by @ 10:31 am. Filed under word sex


“damn with faint praise”

It’s really “phrase sex”. Sue me.

January 17, 2008

Previews for Frater Mine #6 and the goddess comic #2

by @ 2:19 pm. Filed under Ed Brisson, Fernando Melek, Frater Mine, Juan Romera, comic books, generic goddess



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This was a bountiful week for new art! Fernando Melek who is the artist for the goddess comic book sent his completed pages for issue 2 along and the are gorgeous!! I’d show more, but since the issue is only 8 pages long, it’d give away too much. Suffice it to say that her first appearance is stunning!

And Juan Romera of Frater Mine has completed all but three pages of issue 6, so we can expect the next chapter to be available in March, after the talented Ed Brisson does the lettering.

Really, I’m stunned by how these talented guys can bring my stories to life. Send some love their way!

January 16, 2008

Gone.

by @ 7:50 am. Filed under celebrity, death notice


Another Hollywood soul has left the building:

Brad Renfro, Former Child Movie Actor, Dies at 25

Brad Renfro, the former child star who played a witness to a mob lawyer’s suicide in the 1994 legal thriller “The Client” and a suburban youth tutored in evil by an elderly Nazi war criminal in the 1998 film “Apt Pupil,” was found dead Tuesday morning in his Los Angeles home. He was 25.

Mr. Renfro’s girlfriend discovered his body, and the Los Angeles Police Department did not suspect foul play, The Los Angeles Times reported.

In recent years, Mr. Renfro was known as much for his legal troubles as for his acting career. He was charged with marijuana and cocaine possession in 1998, avoiding jail because of a plea bargain, according to The Associated Press. Mr. Renfro was an admitted heroin and methadone user who was photographed being arrested by Los Angeles police officers during a Christmas 2005 sweep of that city’s Skid Row. He was sentenced to three years’ probation for attempted possession of heroin and entered a drug rehabilitation program.

His career was short, but busy and varied. He was plucked from obscurity to play a frightened but resilient witness opposite Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones in “The Client,” an adaptation of a John Grisham best seller.


That’s number two this week, and both of very cultish figures. With death number three looming, I’ll be Tura Satana is getting nervous.

January 15, 2008

When Crass Met Weapons Technology

by @ 12:17 am. Filed under tasers, tasteless, technology


I have no words to express how queasy this makes me feel:

The annual Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, which is expected to receive more than 140,000 visitors this week, is no stranger to bizarre gadgets but the iTaser - as it has been dubbed - must rank as one of the oddest. It combines a Taser stun gun, used by 12,000 law enforcement and security forces, including the Metropolitan police, with an MP3 player and earphones.

As to which tracks anyone toting such a device might download on to the 1GB player that is integrated into the gun’s holster, anything by Sparks or Frank Zappa must be fairly high on the list.

Arizona-based Taser International sells the handheld stun guns under the rather hyperbolic banner of “Changing the World and Protecting Lives”. It maintains that the iTaser “allows for both personal protection and personal music for people on the go”.

According to Rick Smith, founder of the company, “personal protection can be both fashionable and functionable”.

The company says the new device is particularly aimed at women - with red, pink and even leopard print designs intended to make carrying a stun gun fashionable. A spokesman in Las Vegas said the inclusion of a music player would encourage purchases by women who want a form of self defense while out jogging, but would otherwise choose to take an iPod or other MP3 player with them instead of a weapon.


And the odd thing is that I’m all for gun rights. I believe that people should be able to arm and defend themselves against whatever (even though, yes, this means that eventually some assclown is going to do something reprehensible like mug an old lady at gunpoint), but Tasers to me seem like a whole different breed of weapon. Maybe it’s because I read so many reports about how eager cops are to use them: stunning deaf people or yoga instructors or people who are in submissive positions instead of talking to de-escalating the situation. It’s as though as a “non-lethal” weapon, Tasers are the de rigueur first response to any situation, threatening or no. It’s the lack of judicious use - less judicious than gun use - that worries me - and making them a fashion item? Giving them a “cute factor” so they seem even more “non-lethal”.. tacky. Just tacky. And, really, is “functionable” somehow different from “functional”?

–from CommonDreams by way of It All Goes here and Taser of the Day.

January 12, 2008

Gone.

by @ 10:54 am. Filed under Vampira, celebrity, death notice



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Sorry. I don’t know where the picture originated from.

January 11, 2008

Porn and Comics…

by @ 12:20 am. Filed under adult, comic books, porn


To me, these are indispensable elements for any Friday night at home. Or Saturday. Or Sunday. Uhm.. really, just about any day of the week.

I’m a sad, lonely man.

Anyway, the guys over at DudeTube are not only gay porn aficionados, but they like comic books, too! Just about every day there are new entries of hot guys doing what hot guys do in porn (in all fairness, ugly guys do it, too) plus news and opinions on the world of comics! If there were a hat trick to this (and in my wildest dreams that would be pizza delivery with every download)… well, I’d probably never come out of my room again.

Stop by and give DudeTube some traffic!

January 10, 2008

When Art Attacks

by @ 11:12 pm. Filed under Stan Lee, Things I want more than life itself, art


Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles with Golden Apple Comics is hosting a tribute to Stan Lee. Guy’s like 200, right? Guess they figured he needed honored before the Devil came to get his own. Anyway, the art is WONDERFUL! Some more than others, of course, but one item did get my attention more than the others. And oh! I’m sure it’s cost-prohibitive, but if anyone could get this little guy for me


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I would do… well, I’d be in no position to tell you what I’d do. Basically, you’d be telling me what to do. Yeah, I want it that badly. And it would be worth doing.. whatever it was I had to do. C’mon! Look how cute he is!! I would love this little guy more than Stan Lee would, Plus, I’ll put out. Stan Lee would not make you that offer, I guarantee!

I saw something today

by @ 4:03 pm. Filed under UFOs, visual hallucinations


This morning around 9:45, I was waiting for the bus out on MLK Boulevard when something caught my eye - a portion of a rainbow haloing the sun. I’ve seen them before, but only today found out they’re called “sun dogs“. They’re apparently a common enough phenomena, but what made this one unusual were the clouds it was made from. They were feathered, wispy almost, and as I looked at them across the sky, they had an overall wave-like shape the went from west to east. The overall effect (and the copy of The Hastur Cycle in my hand) was pretty creepy.

Then I saw a UFO.

Yeah. No shit. A UFO.

A high-altitude plane was flying southeast to northwest through the sun dog, and the contrail was lingering longer than it should have (I thought it might be a chemtrail, but it did eventually dissipate completely) so I watched it pass overhead and then behind me, when I saw a green dot flying in a straight line north-to-south over the Morris Williams Golf Course. It was lower than the clouds, but high enough that I couldn’t see any details.

The object took about two minutes to pass overhead (noiselessly) and reach the feathered-cloud bank, whereupon it disappeared. I don’t know if I lost it in the sky or what, but I felt strangely let down. Being a big believer in the paranormal and the not-everyday, I was expecting that my first sighting of a UFO would be a bit more exciting. Or that I would be overwhelmed and faint dead away only to wake up a week later in my bed with no memory of the preceding days. Maybe things like that only happen to country folk. Of course, it’s always a bad idea to wish for a different conclusion to an experience; the universe usually makes one repeat the experience with undesired outcomes.

I haven’t heard if anyone else saw this object, but then again, I have no idea where to look for such information. Has anyone else ever seen something strange in the sky? Post your stories here.

January 9, 2008

Word sex

by @ 5:35 pm. Filed under word sex


scene

Points of Interest

by @ 5:13 pm. Filed under news briefs


Katrina victim puts price on his suffering - $3 quadrillion!!!

“Guns don’t kill people. Dogs kill people.”

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”; Schmon’t Ask, Schmon’t Tell.

Nothing funny about this - Congress gets a $4000 raise.

January 7, 2008

Points of Interest

by @ 11:32 pm. Filed under news briefs


The poorly-named “No Child Left Behind” Act is up for renewal, but not without some Ted Kennedy fixin’.

The ever-beautiful and charming Elizabeth Montgomery (rest her soul) was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

What the devil is a Nabaztag???

Best. Wings. Ever.

by @ 10:56 am. Filed under Hometown Life, food, food porn



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Eli’s Tavern at 1002 W 26th St, whose website I would link to if they had one, but they don’t because it’s a little hole-in-the-wall neighborhood bar in Erie, PA and needs to stay that way, serves the best wings I’ve ever had. And I’ve eaten a lot of wings in my day. They boast a menu of 47 different sauces and 12 dry rubs - some are much more successful than others, but in general, you can’t go wrong with any of them. The wings are meaty and juicy, the skin is crisp and snaps when you bite into it.

Dear lord, I’m so sorry I’m back in Austin. I’m hungry for these wings!!!!!!

My brother, his friend Michelle and I got wings from Eli’s two days before I left for Austin, and as you can see from the picture above, we got quite a bit - deep fried pretzels with jalapeño cheese, 20 regular buffalo wings, 8 teriyaki jalapeño, 8 hot honey and 8 24 karat gold (spicy mustard sauce). I also had two draughts of Yuengling at the bar while I waited for dinner to be made. All told, the bill was $32.

Gotta love a small town neighborhood bar! Get you some Eli’s next time you’re in Erie!!

January 2, 2008

Light of loafer but heavy of word?

by @ 7:21 am. Filed under Clive Barker, Instinct, Jonathan Riggs, reviews


I had to write a review for the new Clive Barker novel Mr. B Gone for Instinct, which, yeah, wasn’t all that great. Here’s my first draft:

Is horror subtle or is horror insidious? Does it sneak up on you and rip your heart out or does claw its way up your spine and squeeze your heart ‘til it stops? If we say subtle, then could Lovecraft or Poe’s “No, no, I’m not mad!” protestations be considered ostentatious? If we say insidious, then what do we make of King’s It or Carrie (you know, the classics)? Clive Barker’s newest book Mister B. Gone is as unsubtle as Poe and as direct as King, but lacks the je ne sais quoi of good horror. The eponymous “Mr. B” begs the reader to “Burn this book” from the get-go (a demonic Abbie Hoffman) and plies our obeisance with stories of his youth in Hell (abusive father, overbearing mother… see where this is going?), his ascent to Earth at the hands of the Fishers, his meeting his first love and beyond. But why it is imperative this book be burnt is a secret he’s not telling, though this isn’t The Closer: the reason is not hard to suss out. Perhaps being a dad has taken the raw edge off Barker’s stylus, but I hope he will soon return to his In the Fields, the Towns days.


And I was told by Jonathan Riggs at Instinct (who, without question, is a dear dear dear person and whose opinion I trust completely) it was “intelligent and well-written” with the subtext (which is an anagram for “buttsex”) of “and completely inappropriate for the tone of the magazine”. I was directly told that I needed to make it “punchier, funnier” and “more direct.” Now, for those of you who have hung out with me, you know that I am really campy and love a joke at someone else’s expense. I know this, and yet, when it comes to my writing I get all ponderous and academic. Bridging the gap between how I talk and how I write is an on-going struggle. It’s a worthwhile struggle because working for Instinct has been the thrill of this past year (next to being on a panel at Comic-Con).

SO, here’s my second draft:

Poor Clive Barker. It must have been hard to reconcile being the Future of Horror with being a daddy. Five short years after The Damnation Game clawed its way out of his imagination, Clive was faced with a more prosaic terror: pre-school! And given that his step-daughter might eventually ask some troublesome questions (“Did you really make skinless people be sexy?”), perhaps Clive blunted the raw edge of his stylus instead of doing what a real devil would do and drive it into her temple. Such is my theory behind his latest novel, Mr. B Gone. It doesn’t scream “innocent blood was spilled in the name of my muse”, but instead screams “Burn this book!” Repeatedly. Incessantly. Distractingly. The eponymous (and diabolical) “Mr. B” breaks through the page and begs the reader for the favor of a good book burning. Knowing the reader hasn’t fallen under his demonic sway (and at $24.95 for a hardback, one would have to be stunningly weak-minded), Mr. B bribes us with tales of Hell, his (not-so-nice) folks and his ascension to Earth, all the while echoing his imperative “Burn!” At first, one may wonder why, but like asking “Will Brittany Spears eat fast food for lunch today?” the answer comes quickly. Speculation aside, Mr. B Gone needs to be. Gone. Next year in Hell, Mr. Barker!


I have no idea if this is punchier, but it is a call to me to work on expanding my style.

UPDATE: The new version is “smart AND funny”. Yay!

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Welcome to OrthoComics
Theme copyright © 2002–2008 Mike Little.

in short:

1a. This is what happens when hookers get uppity and think they have feelings.
— in response to The Sex Movie

about OC:

Orthocomics is an indy comics studio that works in affiliation with Making Comics Studios. Titles currently on the market are Frater Mine the oh-so-tantalizingly-familiar Generic Goddess Coming soon: PRAXIS!!

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