News of the Right

futurology

Come see me and buy my and Brian Andersen’s books! Sadly, Brian himself will not be there, but I’ll try to be just as fun and entertaining all by myself. Brian also does reviews at Shotgun Reviews and Newsarama (under “Best Shots”). He’s a great, witty writer and always a hoot! I highly recommend his “So Super Duper!”

Well, for two of my faves anyway.

Brian Andersen was at Wondercon this past weekend and reports the following:

Hieeeeee Everyone!
A super hot and sexy friend of mine recorded my Reading this past Sunday at the Three Dollar Bill. The quality isn’t the greatest, and I like, talk too fast and jumble all my words together a lot, but if you’re bored and feel like watching me get all crazy over my comic, then this video is SO for you!

Part one:

and part two:





Brian also reports (in his excited, inimitable style):

OH. MY. Good Golly Gosh!!!

Mr. Perez Hilton HIMSELF posted a pic I drew of him as a Superhero on his amazing website! And gave me a shout out and link to my comic book site!!! Whoa! Totally awesome!

Also, my TV appearance on OUT Spoken, along with cutie pie Rich Boutell from “Whatever…” is now posted on Youtube! It’s not everyday you get interviewed about your comic book from a Drag Queen! Yay! The video is only 5 mins long, I hope you like it!





And finally, my very first paid writing piece has just made it into the March issue of Instinct Magazine! I have attached the cover here and the little blurb that I wrote! Yay!





Thank you everyone for being such awesome people that I can share my good fortune with. I don’t want to sound all ego-y with these emails, but I just have to share with the great people in my life! I can’t believe my luck sometimes!

Love and Kissies!
Brian

Megan Rose Gedris, who is an absolute doll with talent to burn, has her webcomic I was Kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space!!! reviewed by Paige Braddock (of Jane’s World fame) at Prism Comics this week. I LOVE Megan’s stories. They’re funny, clever and just plain fun. Check out the review, the go check out her comics!

*WHEW*!! I told you it was a big week!

1. Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová won Best Song for Falling Slowly from “Once”. Yay!!!

But let me tell you why: First, “Once” is one of the few movies I saw in 2007 that actually moved me. There was nothing polished or glib about it, yet it told the loveliest, clearest story about two very lonely and talented people meeting in Dublin. Second, the music is stunning. Every song is real. Third, how cute are Glen and Markéta? Enjoy the cuteness and the hope in “Falling Slowly”:

Then see further cuteness and hope (and joy) in their acceptance speeches:





2. “There Will Be Blood” didn’t win Best Picture. Yay!!

But let me tell you why: “There Will Be Blood” was the first movie I’ve walked out of since… since I can’t remember when. I sat through “The Relic”, for God’s sake, yet “There Will Be Blood” drove me and the BFF out of the theatre in crying hysterics (last night). Well, we left before we were asked to leave would be more accurate. I don’t know what it was, but by the time “Henry Plainview” showed up (freakin’ 90 minutes into the movie with NO conflict or human drama in sight!) with this bit of dialogue:

Daniel: Who are you?
Henry: I’m Henry.
Daniel: Henry?
Henry: Henry.
Daniel: WHO?
Henry: Henry Plainview.
Daniel: Do I know you?
Henry: I’m Henry. I have a letter addressed to me, Henry. I’m the son of your mother’s sister.
pause
Henry: Henry.

we got the church giggles and for a solid five minutes tried unsuccessfully to stop ourselves laughing. We had really both had it with the movie by that point anyway, so, yeah, “Done!”

The real horror was that there was a communication misfire and we originally had tickets to see “The Signal”, but I wanted to have seen all the Oscar contenders, so we just changed theatres. BAD decision on my part. But, YAY!, no Oscar for “There Will Be Blood”!

Today I got to meet the man who wrote the first fantasy novel I ever read. The novel was Stormbringer, and the man was Michael Moorcock.

If you’ve ever read his Elric novels (really, any of his novels), you know how anarchistic, lawless and decadent they are. And not like “Peel me another grape, Hortense” decadent, but more like “Baby’s blood makes cakes moister” decadent, which is what comes of worshiping the Lords of Chaos, one assumes. Mr. Moorcock’s worlds are inherently unstable, their laws unreliable, yet his characters always look for order in the mess. They rarely find it, but that’s part of the fascination of his books for me: Mr. Moorcock knows how to destroy his characters by turning their needs against them. What kind of a person writes like that? Are their opinions apparent in their rhetoric? Do they scream their politics at passersby? And therein lay the surprise: Michael Moorcock, the rocker, the drug-user, the man who thought he was dead, the English anarchist… was like someone’s kindly great uncle over for Sunday dinner. I found him (and his wife) to be… delightful.

Mr. Moorcock read from his new book Elric: Stealer of Souls, the opening chapters of which are the basis for Marvel’s 1982 Graphic Novel #2, The Dreaming City, which was also the book I brought to get autographed. I got a few minutes of Mr. Moorcock’s reading:

before the autograph session. I have to say I’m terrible with meeting people I admire because I’m always afraid I’m going to make a gaffe of some sort and wind up being banned from buying said author’s books for the rest of my life. It’s extreme, but I get the Worse Case Scenario Syndrome from my Mom. As it turned out, no one died (nor was banned) when I got his autograph. I asked a silly question about future movie adaptations retaining the spirit of the novels, to which he told me that in a great reversal of roles he was the one who was okay with eliminating material from the screenplay that might be considered too radical.

So that was me meeting an idol. Even though I was surprised, I was not disappointed. Mr. Moorcock is still a fave of mine.

Some clever soul has created an interactive map of The Simpson‘ hometown of Springfield (click on the image to go to the site).

Any true geeks out there know how accurate it is?

toroidal

the silly season

Drive-by shooting in LA escalates to stand off.

Triad of sociopathy: bed wetting, setting fires, and torturing animals.

McMansions may be “the tenements of tomorrow”.

Kill Me Elmo

A modified 1959 Opel gets 376+ MPG!!

I saw another UFO today. Of course, it happened when my arms were full of books and papers, and I couldn’t reach my camera. But I got something better than a picture (for now): a witness!

Let me qualify my “UFO” statement (again) - I saw something in the sky today that did not remind me of a plane. I’m not saying it was the vanguard of a Martian invasion fleet; i’m just saying it was odd-looking and in flight.

I was leaving my class at ACC-Riverside, looking up as I often do these days, when I saw another one of those shiny vessels. I watched it cross… no, no, coast across the sky at a leisurely pace, arcing and gently banking (I assume; the light reflecting from it would change intensities now and again). I must have been watching for a minute or two as the UFO cross the sky from east to southwest when I saw someone else watching, too. We caught each other’s eyes and indicated we were watching the same object in the sky. I walked over to this guy (judging by his outfit, either a student or a way laid back professor) and said, “You see it, too, right?”

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Thank God,” I said. “I’m getting tired of being the only one.”

“Maybe it’s part of that satellite that was coming down,” he ventured.

I hesitated. “I think they shot it down already. Plus, it would be plummeting to the Earth, not drifting like that.”

We watching for another minute when the object became too small to see any more.

“Weird,” we agreed as we parted company.

At least I feel less like I’m making stuff up. This guy was just as fascinated by how odd this thing was as I was, so at least for the two of us, seeing it was seeing something new. Like I said before, East Austin is the place to be for strange sights in the sky.

The Emotiv Epoc Neuroheadset can read your thoughts and make your gaming characters more “you”.

The Miami PD welcomes drones to the force.

A&M students march to vote.

CA kids don’t need education, but, dammit, Republicans need yachts!

OMFG!!

OMG! Tampires.

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Jacob Landes for Instinct about his book The Tale of the Crippled God, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It’s a primitive myth with a language that reminds me of Rachel Pollack’s work. Jacob has let me know that he posted a video on YouTube to promote his book. I’m re-posting it here because I think the book is an amazing read and you should buy it immediately.

paresthetic

Texans can now call a dildo a dildo and not a “martial aid”.

Bad enough when a priest touches a kid, but leave it to the Catholics to make it worse.

Will it still work if I close my eyes?

Nothing too much, really. I was going through some old zip files (lord, how times have changed!) and was grateful to have found some old school units I put together in 2001. I have several posted now for classics like The Catcher in the Rye, And The There Were None and (of course) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. There’s even a workbook for The Hobbit and a PowerPoint Introduction to The Odyssey! They’re all over in the right column.

I had a lot of spare time on my hands back then.

Later this week I will be posting my workbooks for The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible, Lord of the Flies, a book review project, The Heroic Cycle in Western Culture Media (with a whole project dedicated to the old Magik limited series!!) and, if I’m lucky, my Introduction to Shakespeare PowerPoint. Maybe one day I’ll finish my The Little Prince workbook. Or my American Horror workbook. Or the one for The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Really, where did all my spare time go?

UPDATE: I got the book report up! It’s 2:21 AM on a school night and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep ’til it was done. This is where all my spare time went: I started using it for sleep!

UPDATE: The Heroic Journey, The Scarlet Letter/The Crucible, and the Lord of the Flies workbooks are up!

Is rhythm genetic? Proof of the negative lies below. Try not to watch more than once, but I’ll be you can’t. The swaying penes keeping their own beats to the song “Adultery” are strangely hypnotic. Oh, yeah: this is art, too.

see the curious hotness beneath the fold

Northlanders #1: This was recommended to me by uhm.. this really nice guy at Austin Books and Comics. Dammit, now I’m embarrassed for not knowing his name. (UPDATE: his name is Seth) He said it was a little like Conan, about actual Norsemen and not their gods. It was kinda OK. I always find it disconcerting when ancient characters drop f- and sh-bombs, but one could attribute that to an analogous translation. I suppose. Overall, meh. C

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #11: Joss Whedon came back to write the one-shot story in which Twilight makes his first appearance. I’m convinced we’ve seen this guy before in the regular TV series, though not as “Twilight”. Any guesses as to whom it may be? A

The Infinite Horizon #1 - 2: Also recommended by.. Troy? Trent? Dammit. (UPDATE:  Seth.) I love the classics. I hate war comics. The Infinite Horizon, as a near-future retelling of The Odyssey (set in the Middle East because it’s topical), manages to make me forget it’s a war comic. The art is funky - pulpy, stylized at times, patina-ed not colored. A-

Wonder Woman #17: I cried during this issue (of course, this could be because I’m feeling a little brittle this week). Simone continues her triumphant run on WW, in this, the last chapter of “The Circle”. What else is there to say? A+

As a side note, I’m enjoying the Witchblade anime on IFC, but I wonder at the artistic choice of the jiggly wineskin boobs on all the chicks. I also suspect that the Masane and Hiroko (is that the daughter’s name?) have switched personalities, but are as yet unaware of it.

flense

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Even though Pirates of Desire made the list of “14 Valentine’s Day Gifts Guaranteed to Not Get You Laid” (it was #12), I can’t help but think that this would be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. It’s like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book, but instead of the annoying second-person pronouns, your name and the name of a loved one are placed into the text. I would love to read about me and my Pirate King cruising the high seas (as it were), making war by day and making sweet, sweet love at night. Have a peg-legged role-play you’ve been meaning to try out? This could be your gateway to ripped bodices and heaving chesteses. Lord knows I want my bodiced ripped. Also, it’s fat free. You won’t have to apologize to your personal trainer the next day for slipping “because it was a special occasion”.

The big downer is the price. Just because someone knows how to use the “Search/Replace” function in Microsoft Word, doesn’t mean he or she gets to charge $39.95 for it. Nice work if you can get it.

Still, as someone who appreciates good kitsch a gift like this would show that someone really knows me well.

Just a thought…

As saccharine as I’ve always found The Family Circus to be, someone managed to graft a forest of horror onto it (to mix a metaphor). The image makes my brain tingle. It’s called an LOLCthulhu. I wish I could put my finger on what exactly makes it so obscene, but if I did, I’d probably see forever myself. Right. I need my blanket and some cocoa…

adjuvant

Sweet. Baby. Jesus. YES!

HELEN KILLER #1

by Andrew Kreisberg & Matthew JLD Rice

In 1901, twenty-one year old college student Helen Keller, with the aid of a fantastical device invented by her friend and mentor, Alexander Graham Bell, regains her sight and hearing as well as near super-human strength and agility. Helen is enlisted by the Secret Service to protect President William McKinley who has been targeted for assassination by Anarchists. As a deeper conspiracy to destroy America unfolds around her, Helen discovers that her new abilities come with a dark and terrifying price!

28pgs, FC (1 of 4) SRP: $2.99

President Bush hands out a lesson in tough love.

The body has barely had time to cool and Gay Mormons are meeting with the new leadership.

Brad Pitt is a kissing cousin. Woo hoo!!

My only question is how does one sip from it?

It happened again.

This morning around 9:00 I started walking Hogan around the block, and when I looked at the sky, I saw an old chemtrail (the one originating on the lower right-hand side of the picture) and a new one being formed (the crossing one). The plane was somewhat visible at the head of the trail, but it looked like these planes always look - plane-shaped and white.

By the time we had made our way around the block, the two chem-trails were stretched horizon-to-horizon (east to west), then I saw two UFOs! They were flying west-to-east at a very low altitude (I could see them quite clearly), “wing to wing” as it were, keeping pace with and never changing their distance form each other. I couldn’t gauge their size because they were in the middle of the sky - there was nothing to compare them to. Like how the moon looks large at the horizon, but how looks small at the zenith of the sky. They finally disappeared from my sight. This picture shows where they went (I wish I had had my camera during the event and not after):

Now, after all the brouhaha in Stephenville a few weeks ago and the subsequent explanation from the military, it’s possible what I saw were actually jets of some sort. However, three things stand out for me:

1. They were shaped like the cockpit of a space shuttle, except there was no real body to them. They were short and sleek and I really couldn’t make out wings.

2. They didn’t make any noise. Now, I know I’m hard-of-hearing, but considering how clearly I could see them, I would have thought I’d hear something as well.

3. They glinted. They looked like they were highly polished, and reflected the sunlight like a mirror.

Again, this doesn’t mean that they were from another world or had alien life aboard. They were just aircraft I didn’t recognize. Still, East Austin seems to be the place to be for oddities in the sky. I’m going to start bringing my camera with me all the time from now on. Maybe I’ll get a real picture one of these days.

et tu quoque

Or, as TerranceDC put it, “So’s your old man!”

UPDATE: No matter how much I try to worry about this latest outburst by the Pope, I only hear “The Inquisition” in my head.

A disease of the upper class: “wealth denial”.

Punxsutawney Phil says global warming is a crock, predicts more winter.

This may be a sure sign of the End of the World. If not, it’s still wicked crazy.

38 million candle power?!?!?!?!

Does the Pope Wear Prada?

A Japanese company offers workers “Heartache Days” when love affairs end.

Because of things like this, cops are beginning to scare me.

UPDATE: Other cops think that this woman was treated the way she should have been. I know there’re two sides to a story, but c’mon!

UPDATE: The Stark County sheriff’s office is withholding video in the case of Hope Steffy. Feel free to call them at 330-430-3800 to express your disgust.

Tough love by the NannyState. The Mississippi state legislature does its part to keep fat people out of restaurants. WWMPD? (what Would Mary Poppins Do?)