Final Crisis Revelations #1: There’s a scene in the painfully awkward and unexpectedly popular show Charmed wherein the demon Drake (acted with more zest and believability than anyone else on the show in the entire eight years of its tortured run by Billy Zane) is asked by the anemically acted Paige, “Okay, and how exactly did that (before demon, now human) happen?” to which he replies, “Personally, I hate exposition, but if… All right.” Me, too; I hate exposition. However, having said that, I don’t mind being clued in every once in a while as to what the hell is going on in a story. Libra is stronger than God’s Vengeance? The Question is stronger than The Spear of Destiny (I’m assuming that’s what it was)? And the only satisfactory way that the rabidly evil Dr. Light could be taken out was to be melted by The Spectre? Out of public view? How anti-climactic. There’s a bit of false advertising in the title of this book because not much is revealed, but there’s four issues left, so we’ll see. And though it offers no clues as to the plot, Final Crisis Counseling’s annotation of Final Crisis will draw gooey orgasmic gasps from literature folks. Maybe a reader there will put it all together for us. C+

Wonder Woman #23: Not my favorite arc in Gail Simone’s WW run so far, but it ended… well, it ended. I loved how formal Donna got with Nemesis swearing on her beating heart to be his galpal, his shoulder to cry on and that she’ll be there on his doorstep with a barrel of Ben and Jerry’s when he’s had a hard day of sanctioning people. I think she swore to braid his hair, too. Really, the whole issue was about Nemesis and making him look good. B

Helen Killer #4: I’ve been a fan of this series since before it came out, and now that it’s over, I’m glad it’s not going to overstay its welcome. Not to say I don’t want to see other (short) stories every now and again, but Helen Killer ended on a high note and that note should be allowed to sound out for a while. And I’m not saying this just because I was quoted on the back cover (second only to Stan Lee, thank you very much). Though Helen Killer is over, Andrew Kreisberg will be taking over writing duties for Green Arrow/Black Canary with issue #15. I’ve never read the title, but I will peek at it now. A+

Astonishing X-Men #25: I will say this for Simone Bianchi, he (he is a he, right?) is a risk-taker when it comes to laying out a page. He also loves his spacecrafts. Truth be told I love his spacecrafts. What I don’t like are his ink washes and his portrayal of Storm. How he can make salvaged UFOs float like hot-air balloons, but make her look like a rice sack in flight is a question I can’t answer. Warren Ellis deepens the mystery of the previous issue while ignoring Uncanny X-Men‘s ignoring his work. Still, I remain unconvinced that I’ll be keeping this title for more than another month or two. I like the premise, it’s just not a fun read. B

Secret Invasion #5: I swore I wasn’t going to pick up this issue, but when I glanced at it in the store, it looked like the plot was moving forward, so I bought it (I seem to have forswearn myself more than once recently). And, to Bendis’ credit, it did. To Bendis’ detriment, it’s still issue 5 and I’ve waited this long to see that the Skrulls have become intergalactic Republicans who want to save us from ourselves (allegedly). Not conquerors. They’re on our side. Really. They know what’s best for us. Cuz… uhm, yeah, they have an empire. HUGE empire. Right? Right. Oh, and *single tear* for Mockingbird. C+

In geek news, check out the cute old school AD&D alignments poster, but that’s all. Don’t read the rest of the site:





In non-comics-related news, four men claim to have a Bigfoot corpse in their freezer. Skeptics going on photographic evidence only, pooh pooh the claim. I’d like to believe this, but one of the four’s brother-in-law posed as a biologist to support their claims. When discovered, they claimed it was only a joke, but despite that, the Bigfoot corpse is real.

Worth1000.com is having a “Photoshop an AD&D Monster” contest. My bother is going to enter a… ha ha ha. That’s a secret for now. When his entry is accepted, I’ll post the link here for voting purposes.