News of the Right

BAM KAPOW!, the TMZ of comic news (OH OH OH! Who else is excited that Kenneth Branagh wants to direct the upcoming Thor movie???) has a video that translates V’s inaugural speech in V for Vendetta to great comedic effect.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

–Thanks to PinkKryptonite!

My friend Drew was involved with the Alamo Drafthouse’s “Bloodshots” 48 hour horror movie challenge a few weekends ago and WON first place with the entry “Meet the Maydays“. Yay, Drew!

demur vs. demure

Uncanny X-Men #502: So, Hank McCoy is finally coming out of the closet, eh? If I walked away from this issue with one impression, it’s that Hank has either gone camp or he’s gone Butch Camp. Can anyone else smell the poppers? If I were permitted a second impression, it would be that Scott and Emma need therapy. What’s revealed about Emma in the story is nothing new, but it’s an aspect of her that seems to have been pushed aside to make her and Scott seem more… compatible. Otherwise, this is a fast-paced, fun issue that still under-utilizes the unwieldy cast despite the “family” moments peppered throughout. I can’t totally blame Brubaker, but that’ll change in a month or so. A

War Heroes #2: I think I’ve figured out Mark Millar - he’s the Anne Coulter of comics: strident voice and a talent for upsetting people (if I had to guess I’d say that “people” = “bleeding heart liberals” (whatever that means)) with his childish homophobia and creative violence. However, if one were to turn the volume down a bit - and with Millar the volume is ALWAYS!! SET!! AT!! TWELVE!! - one would find that he isn’t saying very much in terms of his characters or stories. He spends his energy trying to be “more” than he was the previous issue: more shocking, more violent, more offensive, more… well, “loud”. Don’t get me wrong, he’s apt at loud, but as a reader I’m growing a bit weary of it. I’d say he should add in scenes that back off of the intensity, but one has only to look at his painfully subdued work on 1985 - where every scene lacks impact and importance - to see how well that works out. I enjoyed this issue of War Heroes, but like Secret Invasion I’m not sure how much higher the stakes can get as they’re pretty high already. Maybe Millar will surprise me in the final analysis. B-

I’m fostering two dogs for Lucky Mutts (my neighbor lady works for them and she caught me early one morning with a request to help out while my brain was still asleep) and I have to say they’re adorable. I’ve named them Mitzi and Felicia. They are Shepherd/Blue Heeler mutts (and I say that with love).

Mitzi is the blonde. She is definitely the big sister in the relationship. Everything she does, Felicia follows along. Mitzi and Hogan get along like gangbusters. They roughhouse for a while, then they den under the coffee table for a cuddle until one of them wants to play again. Mitzi is a headstrong little girl, but comes running when you call her name.





Felicia LOVES to cuddle! She’s not a wild spirit like her sister, and even though she’ll play with the other dogs for a while, she always ends sitting in my lap or trying to become part of the couch. Felicia knows how to fetch and shake. Well, she’s getting a hang of them, in any case. Both ladies are being crate trained and have it down (more or less; someone had a small accident tonight).

Tonight I let myself sit down to watch some TV (the last two nights I’ve been too nervous and vigilant to relax much) and captured an overload of cuteness. If you watch closely, you can see Hogan ignoring me (he’s a bit jealous of the newcomers).

Fauxbercrombie - Clothes designed to look like they’re part of the A&F collection but are sold at Wal-Mart, Target and Kohl’s.

thanks to Scott for the heads up!

Herzims - a gender neutral possessive pronoun typically used when referring to God.

Wonder Woman #24: The greatest moment in this issue was Diana admitting to Tom that she doesn’t experience his touch the way that he experiences hers. This isn’t an existential statement, it’s a practical statement that I’m surprised no one has considered before. To say nothing of the lifestyle superheroes lead, some, like Diana, are almost invulnerable. What does holding hands with a beloved someone mean to them beyond a symbolic gesture of intimacy? Gail Simone’s talent for characterization and the impact of tiny moments on a story shine here. A+

Secret Invasion #6: I hear issue 8 will close this baby with a shock no one will see coming. Especially me, since I stopped reading as of this issue. F

Final Crisis: Revelations #2: For a comic universe that boasts a wide-ranging pantheon of gods, DC is certainly going Biblical on its readers (which makes sense for a comic titled “Revelations”). The rarely-seen-yet-often-referenced Judeo-Christian God places Herzims more popular props - God’s Vengeance, God’s Mercy, the Spear of Destiny and Cain - on the playing field to get… what? A story of epic scope told on street level, it’s a grand read, but how this will reach across the entire DCU is still a question I can’t answer. Unless… what if the world ended across every DC title? Like they all blinked in the same issue and then in the next all was balanced again. Grant Morrison is certainly bold enough to do this, and the DC editors have shown how good they are at handing down sweeping decrees, so, why not? I’m starting to believe that the lack of “the sky is falling” attitude, prevalent in all DC books during Crisis on Infinite Earths, is purposeful. If no one is expecting the world to end, how much more surprising it will be. A

Stephen King’s The Stand #1: The Stand is the very best in post-apocalyptic literature for me. It encompasses a bit more of the fantastic than Earth Abides or Alas, Babylon, but unlike those rather clunky tomes, King’s vision of the world ending by disease weighed on me for weeks after I was done reading. The beautiful artwork of Marvel’s adaptation alone is worth the price of the issue, but I begged off on starting this series because it’s only five issues long which in my opinion is just not enough space to cover the vastness of the original novel. Let’s call this “The Neverwhere Syndrome”. B-

In more bizarre news, has anyone seen Rob Liefeld’s Godyssey?

the Internet vs. the World Wide Web

Man symbolically raped during break-in.

In other Diva news, the spiritual mother of all gay men, Lynda Carter, had some choice words for Philadelphia Magazine about Sarah Palin this week.

Okay, last question. I’m sure you’ve seen all the comparisons in the media and among Republicans of Sarah Palin to Wonder Woman. How do you feel about that?

Don’t get me started. She’s the anti-Wonder Woman. She’s judgmental and dictatorial, telling people how they’ve got to live their lives. And a superior religious self-righteousness … that’s just not what Wonder Woman is about. Hillary Clinton is a lot more like Wonder Woman than Mrs. Palin. She did it all, didn’t she?

No one has the right to dictate, particularly in this country, to force your own personal views upon the populace — religious views. I think that is suppressive, oppressive, and anti-American. We are the loyal opposition. That’s the whole point of this country: freedom of speech, personal rights, personal freedom. Nor would Wonder Woman be the person to tell people how to live their lives. Worry about your own life! Worry about your own family! Don’t be telling me what I want to do with mine.

I like John McCain. But this woman — it’s anathema to me what she stands for. I think America should be very afraid. Very afraid. Separation of church and state is the one thing the creators of the Constitution did agree on — that it wasn’t to be a religious government. People should feel free to speak their minds about religion but not dictate it or put it into law.

What I don’t understand, honestly, is how anyone can even begin to say they know the mind of God. Who do they think they are? I think that’s ridiculous. I know what God is in my life. Now I am sure that she’s not all just that. But it’s enough to me. It’s enough for me to have a visceral reaction. And it makes me mad.

People need to speak up. Doesn’t mean that I’m godless. Doesn’t mean that I am a murderer. What I hate is this demonization of everybody but one position. You’re un-American because you’re against the war. It’s such bullshit. Fear. It’s really such a finite way of thinking about God to think that your measley little mind can know the mind of God. It’s a very little God that way. I think that God’s bigger. I don’t presume to know his mind. Or her mind.

–via tygrlad on the GLA Yahoo! group

Whereas I can’t disagree with anything that Ms. Carter is saying, I’m beginning to think that with all the picking on Palin going on (fish in a barrel, to be sure; one might even say “a red herring”), that there’s some surprise out there that’s going to gobsmack the more progressive side of the political spectrum. She’s too easy a target, already wounded prey, if you know what I mean.

Seattle’s The Stranger has one of the best movie reviews I’ve read in my life, ostensibly written by Diane Keaton. I have no idea if this is her work or not, but I can totally see her saying this (she’s a wild woman!):

What’s up, bitches? Diane Keaton here. I just got back from seeing The Women and, um, I couldn’t help but notice something: I AM NOT IN THIS MOVIE. Where the fuck am I? I am the queen bee of this shit. The hive mother. Annette Bening wishes she could smile through her tears like Diane Keaton! You know the Meg Ryan character? The one who spent her whole life trying to be everything to everybody but somehow somebody is always disappointed? That’s like if my entire oeuvre mated with itself and gave birth to a mega-me. I’m sure you remember when Meg Ryan says, “Wouldn’t it be great if when you were born, they gave you a rule book?” I am, like, ALWAYS saying that! I should have mailed that shit to myself. Then there’s the Jada Pinkett Smith lesbian (”If we’re lost, we both ask for directions”). I could SO play that character. I invented lesbians. Look it up. And the little girl who makes a tiny bonfire of tampons because she’s just not ready to become a woman? Did you even THINK of casting Diane Keaton in that role? No? Big. Fucking. Mistake. I can play young. Hey, Hollywood. Write this down. Next time you make a two-hour vaginal suppository that hasn’t met a feminine cliché it didn’t dip in chocolate and shove down America’s gullet (smoking, shopping, cheating, faked orgasms, diets, supermodels, bubble baths, hunger, water breaking, Botox), maybe you should do your job and fucking call Diane Keaton. Bitches.

–via JoeMyGod

–from The Perry Bible Fellowship

Superman/Batman #51: The Li’l Leaguers made my weekend. I haven’t picked up Superman/Batman since Killer Cousin Kara arrived in the book a few years ago (yes, I even missed the now-classic “Superman Gets High“), but after seeing it reviewed at Comic by Comic, I had to head back to my local comic shop and get a copy. Man, it’s all about the juxtaposition! I don’t who this guy Albuquerque is, but his ability to draw the adorable-but-outright-cartoony Junior League next to their muscly-but-human-looking adult counterparts and not cause a huh? in my brain impressed the dickens out of me. Even more than that though, Green and Johnson’s characterizations of Mini-Superman is dead on for his sunny (relatively speaking) disposition (everything is “AWESOME!!” and “COOL!!”), but their genius is in their Mini-Batman who is just Batman in a smaller body (”I’m the goshdarn Batman!”). Though the story drifts in the DCU unfettered by any ties to Trinity or Final Crisis or RIP etc. etc. etc., it’s infinitely more delightful than anything I’ve read in a while. A++

Manhunter #34: There is a LOT going on in this issue, not only in terms of action, but also the extensive cast list. If this were a lesser writer, I’d be concerned that the whole story would fall deep.. ok, deeper into soap opera territory – just look at the complicated (yet “brief”) family history as told by Grandpa Iron and Gramma Phantom Lady – but Marc Andreyko avoids the hysterics while keeping everyone’s lives messy. Spoiler alert, but the cover is completely misleading, and I should be more disappointed than I was, especially after last month’s cliffhanger had me drooling to see Kate and the Birds of Prey kick some Suicide ass. Each side got their licks in, but it wasn’t the slugfest I was hoping for. Still, I came away satisfied with the outcome. With all the brouhaha over Northstar being a celibate eunuch (not redundant; see “Farinelli”) over at Marvel, it’s nice to see Todd (Obsidian finally out on parole from whatever it was he was doing in JSA) and Damon share a little sugar. Of course, we’ve seen them kiss before and have a post-coital moment in bed, so… yeah, this round to DC in the “Gayer than Thou” wars. A+

X-Men: Return of Magik #1: Strange déjà vu because I know I’ve seen these stories before. Any original material of my favorite mutant demon sorceress on the way? No grade.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #18: I’m going to retract 60% of the contempt I had for Joss Whedon’s re-using Dark Willow (as telegraphed from orbit revealed last issue) and say that it lends sufficient pathos to the plot built up around her and the future of the Slayer race (i.e., there is none) to keep me onboard. Still, there’s a lack of focus on the sub-plots - what happened to the Slayers after the castle went BOOM, what is Twilight and how bad are they are chiefly blurry - and adding treants to the mix didn’t clear up the haze. Other than that, the issue really belongs to Xander and Dawn (PLEASE don’t let them get together!!!) and Kennedy for schtupping Willow while voluntarily possessed. B-

The Boys #22: The dénouement of “I Tell You No Lie, GI” doesn’t tell us anything new about the supes or their role in the world, but with the revelation that Wee Hughie is dating an auxiliary Seven member trouble can been seen rising like the sun in the East. And poor Annie. When she blinded A-Train, half on top of her, pants all the way down, I should have cheered the way I cheer for Scully when she draws her gun on the Freak-of-the-Week, but I felt more like she is getting what she deserves for not walking away from the whole mess. I’ll have to read the back issues to find out what’s keeping her there (unless someone can email the info and save me a lot of money). For as strident as people are about Kick Ass’s childish homophobia and cartoonish violence (which, God help me, I enjoy reading), I find The Boys far more troublesome. A-

Secret Six #1: I want to have Gail Simone’s ability to jump into a story head-first, free-style through her characters and kick like mad through sub-plots. (Yes, this is a Michael Phelps-inspired hook. Why?) I don’t even like these people, but her villain-in-a-box and compassionless anti-heroes aren’t really too far off from the actual heroes of the DCU in terms of their heroiclessness. Plus, Catman is hot and needs to be naked more. A+

periculum

When adding a gay friend to my Facebook buddies list, I was given this capcha:

Really, what else needs to be said?

Only homeowners will get excited about this, I’m sure, but I got a new roof and new gutters! Apparently, back in May when a terrible storm blew through Austin the baseball-sized hail damaged my roof. I honestly didn’t have a clue until a few weeks ago when Tony Santos from Salzar Roofing came to my door and said there was indeed damage. I had seen signs for his company around the neighborhood, but in a startling display of naivety, I believed my house had been exempted from the brunt of the storm. Nope. Turns out the damage was “extensive”. Luckily, my insurance covered the roof replacement as well as new gutters!! As someone who may be selling his house soon, I had been worried about both of these features and how I would be able to afford replacing them. And now, thanks to an Act of (a loving) God, I am worry free!

Well, except for the guest bathroom and the damn popcorn ceiling. Ah, the ups and downs of property!

Rachel Ray Face - A disingenuous facial contortion that is supposed to convey an orgasmic YUMMO moment but has no variation from use to use.