That’s My Bag!

Wonder Woman #31: This past weekend, my boyfriend and I were talking about how vigilante justice seems to be the way to go at times, and why hasn’t the Earth produced its first superheroes yet. We also picked out what kind of superpowers we’d like to have if we happened to be so lucky – he wanted telekinesis because it can be used for all kinds of practical purposes (throwing, slamming, holding, choking, flying, et al.) and I wanted telepathy because it’s the mental form of telekinesis. He looked at me and with a seriousness that was appropriate for the conversation, he said, “If you were telepathic, we wouldn’t be together.” When I asked why he said that he would always wonder about how I knew what I knew or if he were really feeling what he was feeling. Before I got too hurt, I thought about it: how could any person be trusted with an “X-power”? Is anyone that morally upstanding that they could forgo cutting corners or making life a little but easier for themselves? Could all X-Powerful beings follow a unified moral code? Diana may be flawed, and she may have made mistakes (without referencing Max Lord again, certainly cutting off the Cheetah’s tail last issue was a bit beyond the pale for her), but she’s still morally superior to most people. And gods. And Olympians. A+

Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #4: Thinning the herd. Again. However, I don’t view the killing spree as being the wanton holocaust that was GMo’s Final Crisis (or indeed any DC comic title from the last year or so) because these characters’ death caused me actual outrage against Superboy-Prime and not Dan Didio or whatever lame storywriter was wielding the axe that week. Bloodshed aside, the return of “our boy” made me go misty. I’m jumping uo and down in my chair for the next issue; who’s agenda is going to win out – Superman’s rehabilitation of Superboy-Prime or the freshly minted Superboy kicking Superboy-Prime’s ass to Oa and back? A+

Madame Xanadu #10: It looks like next month Madame Xanadu will inflict her issues with men on the world at large instead of keeping it to a select circle of friends, lovers and co-dependent fantasies. One would think she’s be just as jaded towards women since it was her sister who caused her life to spiral out of control in the first place, but judging by the title “My Father’s Keeper” it looks like Nimue is going to be the mystic Gloria Steinem of the DCU. Next month will see Michael Wm. Kaluta taking over art duties, for which I am very excited. B

Uncanny X-Men #509: Didja see the size of Psylocke’s udders on the cover? I mean, one would have to have Power Girl wallpaper and life-sized cardboard stand-ups to not notice, so perhaps a better phrasing would be “When did Psylocke become enormbooblous?” Jesus, Land. I swear, someone needs to send me the reference pic for what happened to Emma Frost because I’m starting to think this was drawn from his own imaginings which puts him firmly in second place behind Mark Millar for the “Creepiest Asshole in Comics” title. Tracings can be forgiven (to an extent, and this is pushing it), but out-and-out S&M fantasies are getting into… whatever comic company publishes porn beyond Class Comics territory. Double Jesus, Land. Rumors around the Internet say that Madeline wants Logan to find Jean Grey’s body to inhabit, but I think she wants Logan’s body. Who better to live forever inside since he just keeps rejuvenating? B-