Absolute Obsession Part IV – “Cost vs. Worth”

At six o’clock the Thursday after Labor Day, I told my students, “It’s new comics day. I love you. Get out.” They probably didn’t believe the “I love you” part, but they knew I meant “Get out.” What could I do? Their young, impressionable, yearning minds were keeping me from getting Absolute New Frontier.

It’s enough to say that I got the ANF (only $75.00 minus an additional 10%, thanks ABC!), but it wasn’t all I got. Of course.

Collecting is a sickness. It is. In order to be a good collector, one needs to feel that unless one has every member of a set, then one is incomplete. One also needs to not care about potential financial ruin or personal relationships (which, contrary to a popular song lyric, do require money to seal the deal; I mean, for anyone with self-esteem) . All that matters is completeness. Completeness is one. If you don’t believe me, go to San Diego for Comic Con one year. You’ll see what I mean.

Having poor impulse control helps, too. It helps a lot.

Here’s what I love about the Absolute editions (besides the annotations): they’re large and heavy, which means they’re important, which means they’re worth having. Seriously, these things have more gravitas than Ian McKellen doing King Lear for the Kennedy family. To further illustrate this, I own the Arkham Horror series of boardgames. All of them. I’ve never played them, but, God help me, together they weigh almost 40 pounds and have over 2,000 playing pieces. That alone is enough for me to have invested close to $300 in them.

Let me say that again: I’ve never played them.

You see where this is going.

Absolute New Frontier is sitting on my shelf. Still in the shrink wrap. Still unread. And going to stay that way. Pristine. My boyfriend expressed dismay about this. And if she knew about it, I’m sure my mother would, too.

Even with a 10% discount (everyday on trade paperback and graphic novels!) $75 seemed a bit steep, but $60 seemed perfectly reasonable and $47 seemed like I was holding a gun to someone’s head, or so I told myself when I saw that’s how much Absolute Crisis on Infinite Earths, Absolute Sandman Volume One and Absolute Kingdom Come cost on Amazon.com respectively. And these weren’t even the New & Used, these were off-the-Amazon-shelves-and-still-shrink-wrapped new. What could I do? I’m a collector what a thing for gravitas and annotations. I got them. And when they arrive they will go to my shelf. Unwrapped. Unread. Pristine.

Billy Mumy’s cornfield was never so wonderfully populated.

In my own defense (sorta), I didn’t buy Seduction of the Innocent as I had originally planned. I researched the book a bit and found that the original publisher cut two pages out of the book (the bibliography) to avoid any possible lawsuit, even if it did destroy the integrity of the book’s research. My goal now is to own a copy with those pages intact. I have some self-control and pride. But only some. And I’m pretty sure even Neil Gaiman doesn’t own this book. So, watch out, Neil; I’m gonna be one up on you yet!

Xposted at CPB