When Joan Osbourne asked “What If God Were One of Us?” (sorry to be a grammar Nazi, but the subjunctive is a beautiful thing) she had no idea that He might actually dive headlong into our Culture of Exhibitionism and get a Facebook page chronicling his best LULz ever: the Creation of the World.
by Andrew B.
Not being a big fan of the Big Guy’s Biggest Fans (you know who you are), I often hope funny things like this raise their blood pressure up just that much more.
Normally, I’d say “Keep the kids away from the Bible! You don’t know where it’s been!” but these takes on those stories of dubious origin are kinda charming, especially the retelling of the story of Saint Patrick by a child from the film Give Up Your Aul Sins. It’s the simple Faith I love.
Then there’s this sarcastic git:
Hysterical and accurate. I wish there were more.
My brother sent me this email today about my nephew:
Hee hee hee hee.
I was rolling in the car tonight on the way back to Dominic’s house. He’s been having the Bible read to him at night and I asked him how it was going.
“Good.”
“Did you get to the flood story yet?”
“The one with Noah’s ark, yeah.”
“Did you like it?”
“Yeah.”
I asked him some questions about the two birds and all that and then said:
“Did you know that there’s another story just like that about a flood?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, except in this other one Noah is called Utnapishtim.”
“Why’s he called Utnapishtim?!?!?!?!?!?”
He pronounced it properly and his enunciation was so perfect that I started laughing my ass off. It was cute as hell. I explained why his name was different, yeah. He wasn’t proud of himself for having said it right. He just kept saying it over trying to get me to laugh again.
I asked him, “Do you remember which animals Noah took?”
“All of them. Except the unicorns were goofing around.”
*pause*…”Is that why we don’t have unicorns anymore?”
“Yeah.”
God, I love that kid!
Whatever ran a LOLCreashun contest last month to see who could LOLize pictures from the Creation Museum. Check out the entries. They made me LOL. My faves are below.
(thanks to JoeMyGod for posting it first!)
more under the fold
Ezekiel 23: 19-20
19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.
20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose members were as those of asses, and whose emissions were as those of stallions.
