Wonder Woman #30: Contrary to widely-help opinions, Diana’s rage makes perfect sense in this issue, and the Genocide storyline has in no way run its course and should not be ended. In the aftermath of Genocide’s merciless attack on the Princesses of Themyscira and the Justice League and the kidnapping of Etta Candy, it makes perfect sense she would “declare war” on the Cheetah and her pawns. And even though she says it in anger, I really think she regrets the necessity of cutting off the Cheetah’s tail in order to extract information form her of Genocide’s whereabouts. I have to admit though that there must also have been a certain satisfaction to that last bloody bit of violence to say nothing of kicking the ass of everyone in the DMA. Of course, I may be projecting. She is, after all, a comic book character. The Olympian is still a minor concern here, but once he’s revealed, I wonder if he’ll be getting his little boyfriend back anytime soon. Yay gay Greeks! A

Superman #686: Apparently parallelism has hit the halls of the Big Two as yet another title does simultaneous contrasting. I have to say, it’s better here than it was in last month’s Wonder Woman and last week’s Uncanny X-Men, but it’s already in danger of becoming over-used. In this issue, Princess Diana goes undercover as a special super-human policing agent in a department that is mistrustful of super-humans in general and Amazons in particular. She somewhat awkwardly adopts a human life, but is always at the ready to transform to Wonder Woman when an emergency arises. Wait. Strike that. Replace it with “Mon-El.” B

X-Infernus #4: I saw Neil Gaiman speak in Austin for the release of his book Anansi Boys. He was in a bitchy-gossipy mood that day and gave the crowd some insight into the Beowulf movie (“In a fit of typecasting, Angelina Jolie will be Grendel’s mother.”) and MiracleMan (“”So I asked Todd if he would just do what the court told him to do and he said, ‘I’m fuckin’ Todd McFarlane, man, fuck. I don’t gotta. Fuck.”) and how he’s always surprised by how expensive American comics are when, essentially, nothing happens in each issue. Funny guy. In essence, this is what the conclusion of X-Infernus suffers from – a whole lot of nothing. I counted 22 pages of a rather uninspired End-of-the-World scenario that actually occupies about five pages of actual action. Illyana has feared the release of the Elder Gods since 1982 and they get almost no panel time and certainly don’t seem to be the threat they’ve been made out to be. The last page shows the new New Mutants cover, but with Rahne, Doug and Warlock in the ranks. Retcon or Retro-chic? We’ll find out in May. D

Supergirl #39: Supergirl’s failure to capture Reactron and bring him to New Krypton earns her harsh (and ironic) criticism from her mother (delivered non-ironically). Kara finally wakes up to the idea that maybe her mother isn’t as Sally Field in Brothers & Sisters as she’d like to believe. This Kara Zor-El isn’t the same as the one that died ages ago, but she’s starting to grow on me. Insanely tight asses on women aside, the art is pretty good as well. B

Ultimatum #3: Ugh. More splatter porn. When did Jeph Loeb become Mark Millar’s apprentice? C+

Uncanny X-Men #507: Last week’s Wonder Woman and this week’s X-Men should be viewed as cautionary tales about parallel storylines and how not to do them. There should be a seamless, almost cinematic cut between the panels of the respective stories, and certainly parallel action and words. Sadly, while Matt Fraction’s words were close to the mark, the Dobson’s artwork was not. The overall effect was somewhat herky-jerky, and distracted from the flow of the plot (not that very much happened in the first place). Oh and shocker, Magneto is back. Can;t move on from him in the movies; can’t move on from him in the comics. Guess Jean Grey will be lighting up the Universe again pretty soon. C-

…about Frater Mine. The guys over at Comic Book Queers discussed FM during this week’s podcast. It’s towards the end after an excellent discussion of Cloak and Dagger (my tied-for #2 characters after Magik). Give a listen here:

I’m really embarrassed about the reference to the “Mary Janing” I did in the book. I try to own it, but looking back it just seems like lazy writing. Like Twilight. I know I’m not the only one to do this, but I’d like to think that I’m not a lazy writer. Well, at least I’m working to make the characters less like people in my world. Even if Matt does have a twin brother and adorable nephew…

Normally, I try to get “That’s My Bag!” weekly, but I’ve let it (and my grading; sorry, students!) slide for more… personal matters. I’m catching up in a few weeks of comics here, so everything will be brief. I hope to make this feature regular again, especially since this week is SPRING BREAK!!!

Supergirl #38: She’s on Earth; she’s on New Krypton. She’s an outlaw; she’s a bad daughter. I see another “Who is Supergirl?” story arc coming up soon. B

Superman #685: I’ve always loved Mon-El (though not as much as Kal-El does, apparently), so I’m glad to see him taking on a new Kent identity. I didn’t like to see him leave Ma Kent in the hands of another care-taker. A

Action Comics #875:Well, it’s not Conner (dammit) but the new Nightwing’s identity is still a great surprise, as if Flamebird’s. I’m going to like seeing these two in this title over the next year or so. A

World of Krypton #1:

Justice Society of America #23: Oh naughty Isis!! A

Justice Society of America #24: Shizzman! Mary Marvel goes Dark. Again. So, is JSA caught up with the Final Crisis timeline while the rest of the DCU isn’t? A-

Wonder Woman #29: Sadly, Zeus plays too large a role in this story for being as large an assdancer as he is. However, without these scenes we wouldn’t know how dangerous the Olympian is going to be. A

Madame Xanadu #8: Green Lantern. The Demon. Who else will be shaped by Madame X and the Phantom Stranger’s machinations? The story is still fun, but I’d like to see more “the future has taken root in the present” moments. B+

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #23: Who is driving this story??? Because we’re off-roading here. D

Uncanny X-Men #506: The issue is totally transitional and not necessary to buy. C

Orthocomics is pleased to announce the release of our first ever NSFW comic by Sean McGrath and Jo Beth “Jesus” March, “Infinitesimal Situation at the Ultimate Wiggle Piggly”. While Jo Beth was unavailable for comment because she was dragged back to her Carmelite monastery by Mother Superior Vicious Claws of Jesus’ Undying Love, Sean was available to say, “Screw you, beret-wearing post-modernists!”

Early reviews have been overwhelmingly positive, saying “Yes, it IS totally NSFW, but it is also damn f-ing funny. What a great way
to start my day. LOL!!! Great work!”

“I had a ‘WTF moment.’”

“Please remember that while I love your work–you know I do–my sensibilities are a little different than yours. Some kind of rating code would be helpful, just so I know what to expect … ‘Adult themes’ are one thing; exaggerated full-frontal graphics are…another.”

“BRILLIANCE!!!”

“So deep…”

“[NSFW] or humourless sods – brilliant stuff. I love the Living Tribunal as a Norma Desmond draggie.”

and from Mishiko Kakasomething of the New York Times Book Reviewz we got “A joyous slap in the face by the giant schlong of satire!”

The entire comic book is available for download. It’s TOTALLY FREE and TOTALLY NSFW!!! Click on the the lordly graphic by Scott McGrath below to get your copy!

Batman #686: I only managed to read Batman the first night after comics shopping because I was busy with play practice and dating interests. I also chose this to read because it
was written by Gaiman, whom I adore, but whom I’m also beginning to see wane a bit. I like the set up, but of late Gaiman’s set up hasn’t been the problem with his work; the problem has been the
pay-off (seriously, I still can’t believe The Graveyard Book won the Newbery). I’ll wait ’til next issue (apparently the last Batman comic) before I decide how successful the story was or wasn’t, but for now, I’m intrigued by the dream-like presentation (of course. How else would Gaiman write a DC story?) and Andy Kubert’s expressive art. A

Action Comics #874: One of the most striking scenes in this issue was Superman in the Fortress of Solitude looking at pictures of a long-dead and somewhat idyllic Krypton. He laments that for years he had an idea of how his home planet must have been – maybe mostly through wishful thinking – but now facing the reality of being descended from a race of militant jerks he feels lost. I share that feeling with him. The Kryptonian race may have let itself be destroyed, but their darker side was never hinted at. A close runner-up is Mon-El telling his BFF Kal-El that he would prefer to die with him that be voided in the collapsing Phantom Zone. Awwh! Pablo Raimondi’s lines are wonderfully expressive and fun. Light bodies fly through the air, topped by dark, heavy faces. A

X-Infernus #3: With the conformation that there will be a new New Mutants series (how it will fit into general continuity remains to be seen), the return of Illyana Magik wasn’t too unexpected in this issue, but it was still welcome. And, dammit, she’s all these years older and still the head-strong and brash teenager from her days in the New Mutants. Still, I can’t help but love her. Of all the X-Men (aside from the original, non-resurrected, self-sacrificing Phoenix), she ranks as a true tragic heroine. Sadly, with one issue left, I fear she may go the way of all tragic figures. A-

Thor #600: I could have done without the backup stories, mostly because I’ve seen them all before (I think they were in a one-shot called Tales of Asgard from back when I was in high school) and they did nothing to add to the 600thness of this issue. I’m torn on how I feel about this issue. I like how JMS keeps up the characterization of the Asgardian and Kansasian folk (which must be incredibly difficult in the former’s case; it would be so easy to drift into (no offense) Lee-Kirby staunch declarations riddled with “thees” and “thous” and turn some pretty speeches into vaudeville), but that seems to be going away with Thor’s banishment from Asgard. And wasn’t he banished before (like, 1950′s “before”)? My fear is that the imaginative gold JMS has put into the story – Asgard in Kansas, the transsexual Loki/Sif, Thor as a diplomat (now outlaw?) – will be lost if Thor goes his own way. By the way, why does Thor have an uruz rune on his belt? B+

Secret Six #6: WTF?!?!? The MAD HATTER?!??!?!?!??!?! He’s the one behind all this? I’m pretty disappointed by this, mostly because I only remember the Mad Hatter at the guy from the Batman TV series who had a hypnotic eye pop jack-in-the-box-like from his top hat. He seemed more goofy than mad. Maybe it was my attitude this week, but this was my first of the two “meh” titles I picked up. Normally, I like everything Gail Simone does, but too much time was spent on Deathlock, the least interesting of all the characters, Yeah, he gets to betray his friends and all, but the “I’m just being the scorpion” line rang so false, the way Catman told Batman that they were going to kill each other one day, weren’t they? For being such C-list characters, the Secret Six don’t lack in ego. C

Legion of Three Worlds #3: This issue has a HUGE cast that is almost impossible to follow unless one has been a fan of The Legion for the last two decades. But who cares?? Geoff Johns and George Perez have all the nuances down for long time Legion lovers to debate and spar over, while for the rest of us, they deliver an issue with no less than three goosebump-raising moments (especially the last on on the last page). Superboy-Prime, get ready to be spanked! A

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #22: The “meh” continues strongly in this issue, ironically called “Swell”. Don’t get me wrong – the banter between Kennedy and Satsu is right on the mark (especially, “Your eval’s SO getting a smiley face!”) but the main point of season eight is getting lost in all these side stories. The stories are great in and of themselves (the cartoon episode TOTALLY not included), but they don’t contribute to the tension I should be feeling by now. C+

Runaways #6: This may be my last issue of Runaways. Not that there’s anything wrong with it per se, but there’s nothing all that exciting about it either. The pay-off at the end of this arc just didn’t move me the way it should have. C-

Final Crisis: Revelations #5: If I came away with anything from this series, it’s that God cares, but is a firm believer in tough love. I also came away thinking that Rucka believes God to be a right bastard for putting people in impossible situations and expecting them to find their own way home again. One need only look at Radiant (somehow doing well here, yet not doing so well in FC #7) and her dwindling faith in God’s Infinite Mercy (which would be herself) to see this. As she prays for God to intervene and save everyone, there is no response. Nothing. Just Cain and Anti-life. Then the Huntress, The Question and Radiant’s rapist/murderers call her back from the brink by their selfless actions. Rucka seems to be saying that we find faith in God by the actions of others, which is a bit weak sauce for me (and Rucka, too, I imagine) because there are days when I want my immanenet and loving God to give me physical evidence that He loves me (and not in a “raped by a swan” kind of way). Still my favorite title in the whole Final Crisis crisis. A

Final Crisis #7:I sat down today and gave it my best shot to get through the last issue with maybe a glimmer of understanding with what was happening. And what I came away with was a hot, sticky pearl necklace that Grant Morrison blew all over me when he was done jerking himself off. But let me be specific:

1.) I’ll misquote someone from the GLA who said that there’s a difference between being spoon-fed a story and having to read the writer’s mind. I’ve read his Doom Patrol, his All-Star Superman, his WE3 and his run on the x-men, and have enjoyed them all. he has a talent for bringing new depth to characters and revitalizing tired stories. that being said FC was a just his next exercise in “how far can I go with the comic medium?” (and after empowering six billion people with super-powers, it was shocking to see that he COULD go further). I think this will be his Ulysses, and fanatics all over the world will begin writing their dissertations on this miniseries in relatively short order AND congratulating themselves on being so damn clever to understand Morrison. And part of me thinks it was his plan all along to be this divisive.

2.) Final Crisis was done in a vacuum. Whatever transpired here – people seeking temporary refuge on an alternate earth, a magic ward that repels evil on a planetary scale, Superman singing the multiverse back into existence (i think; he never really go around to doing it the second time, did he?), Wonder Woman somehow breaking out of the anti-life spell, Darkseid dying, the New Gods returning, Batman pulling a Spock-on-Planet-Genesis, universe vampires and the end of the Monitors – who cares? it doesn’t connect to anything that has been done or is being done or will be done. for that alone, Dan Didio should be horse-whipped for promoting FC as “the be all end all of DC crises.” As clever as it was supposed to be, it did nothing to change the status quo of the DC universe and remint it, shiny and worth some kind of currency.

3.) And before someone pulls out all the “metafiction makes stories better and causes your junk to smell like cotton candy and is better than regular literature” crapfest, I’d like to say that metafiction is
NOT a new phenomena. It goes back at least to the ancient Greeks. Authors have metafictional devices in their works whether they know that word or not, so please just stop with the “Morrison is too profound for you to understand.” He’s not. Saying “metafiction” just makes you feel better about yourself.

OMG! I just thought of what this was REALLY all about! It wasn’t DC’s final crisis, it was GMo’s MIDLIFE crisis!! I’m totally serious here. What better thing to achieve immortality by then to create a story that was supposed to be so impacting, so far-reaching (well… kinda; it was never referenced in any of the mainstream books), and the LITERAL last word in DC crises and then write it so that readers would argue about what was being done, how deep the meaning was, how revolutionary for comics to do something this PoMo (meh), write dissertations on it and speculate on what wasn’t in the text but what could be drawn into the story inter-textually! I honestly think that this was Grant Morrison coming to the end of his shelf life and then recreating himself with hair transplants, a sexy trophy wife and a penis-shaped car that goes from 0 to 120 in 10 seconds. Metaphorically speaking. Discuss. D-

Wonder Woman #28: And speaking of changing the status quo, the Olympians finally come to life in the DCU! Zeus creates a new island for his new race of men (dead men, but no one is perfect) with a mission to bring peace to the world by beating all warring countries into submission. Zeus… really doesn’t get it, does he? And, bless his heart, he’s so earnest about his Olympians and thinks that he’s going about this the right way, but it reminds me of the time he wanted to reward Diana by offering to penetrate her then got upset when she said “Dude, WTF?!?!?” I was hoping that Tom would be the Olympian (apparently that will be Jason’s “son”), but after this issue I see he’s 100% Amazon. And probably gay. A+

Superman #684: Superman is so damn trusting that he’s starting to look simple-minded. No wonder Batman makes fun of him. I was honestly hoping that after New Krypton entered a binary orbit around the sun that writers would take time to let tensions stew and come to a head again in a year or so, but writers are chasing it like my dog chases the ice cream truck. I love that this book has, like Wonder Woman, changed the face of the DCU in a way that if it’s nurtured and allowed to grow in an organic way (I’m giving you the hairy eyeball, Didio!) New Krypton could become a permanent fixture worth hundreds of stories. *fingers crossed* B

Manhunter #38: The end. *single tear* A+

Secret Six #5: Bane is by and far becoming one of my favorite characters in this series. I know everyone thinks Deadpool is sexy and Catman has a great butt (he’s my number two, but not for his butt (Ragdoll is number three)), but Bane’s complexity makes everyone else look like the chorus line. He claims a moral superiority to his fellows and has a compassionate heart, but when he ripped Aaron’s neck apart, I was in love. A

Action Comics #873: Aaaah! “New Krypton”. Now I get it. I was disappointed that the main conflict of this arc – bringing the Kryptonians who murdered some Science Police officers to justice – wasn’t resolved, but now there’s a new Baddie on the solar block that will need to be dealt with eventually, which I find to be the greatest change to happen in the DCU in years. It’s easily worth years of stories and plots in the hands of a capable writer. Sadly, Kara got shafted again in terms of characterization. That poor girl hasn’t known a moment’s rest even since she died during Crisis on Infinite Earths. A-

Final Crisis #6: I’m hard-pressed to know if this was camp or kitsch or what. There
were the oddly out-of-place silver age super-science moments with the Inerton and Radion; and even more silver age “shouting my thoughts out so everyone knows what I’m doing in the panel” lines like “It might take the last of my magical energy but I think I can stop her!”. Then I counted FIVE plots to save the world going on all of which involve cosmic-level technology and evolution? And finally Brainiac 5′s warning about his sentence becoming meaningless ON PAGE ONE was at once incredibly precocious and ironically too late. As far as the image on the last page goes, how can ANYone take a death in the DCU to heart anymore? Said death will be undone as soon
as The Question sucks the Earth through the cosmic soup strainer and brings us to the Fifth World. Guaranteed. Last issue was so good, but this issue was an unreadable mess. Again. D+

X-Infernus #2: I have a horrible premonition that Marvel is setting up Pixie to be “Magik Lite”, and as much as I like her character, I don’t love her as much as I love Illyana. Putting Pixie in a position to be the next X-enchantress will make her “Magik Zero”, a disservice to both women. That aside, the action and stakes (saving Illyana and Pixie’s souls) are ratcheted up a notch. A

X-Men Noir #2: Noir is dead. No matter how many times someone tries to resurrect it by pulling together the most superficial elements of the idiom, it remains corpse-like, as well it should. What made noir noir was the freshness of the cinema combined with a dramatic flair for hyper-realistic sensationalism. Making a comic book black and white, and peppering sentences with “dame” doesn’t capture the essence of the movement. X-Men Noir is… well, it’s just dreadful, which I saw in the first issue and yet came back to read the second, thinking I was missing something. Nope, I got it right the first time. The art is muddy. The dialogue is clunky. And the story is so dull that it put my cats to sleep. But worse than all that is the X-Men don’t fit into this story at all. I could see Captain America maybe being better suited for this “other wheres, other whens” iteration (I’m kidding; no one write that up!) but here the story always comes back to “these are the X-Men and they will go mutie on your ass”. There’s no urgency when they see their ends coming, because I know they’re going to fight back and prevail. I don’t feel the grittiness, the hard-heartedness nor the angst that should come with a good noir story. I wish I could say, “Nice try” but my real message to the creators would be “Pencils down, now!” F

X-Men #505: Matt Fraction seems to be having a hard time getting a hold of the X-characters and what they do. He has the mayor of San Francisco down pat (like her!) but his other plotlines – Angel and Beast tracking down geniuses to recreate the mutant race; Colossus tracking down something to hit; X-23 doing something to someone that involves their blood – are more about the prey than the X-Men themselves. This isn’t necessarily a bad storytelling technique, but when the whole issue is out of focus this way it’s just… well, boring. He also seems to be dropping transitional moments down a Claremont Hole. For example, the Beast is in a meeting with Cyclops, Emma and the mayor as the issue opens, then is off cornering a genius several pages later with Dr. Nemesis and Angel in tow. It reads like there are two Beasts on two separate missions- one in the mayor’s office who is doing fuck-all and is completely superfluous to the scene, then one who’s in charge of genius-tracking. Hopefully, Faction will work these problem spots out soon. C

Madame Xanadu #7: Good art. Good story, but beyond that, I can’t think of anything to say to recommend (or condemn) this story arc. It’s competently done and full of plot, but that’s about it. C+

Superman #683: I so desperately want someone to take Alura over their knee and spank the bejeezus out of her, I’m thinking of baking a red velvet bundt cake with a strawberry glaze and calling it “Alura Over Someone’s Knee Cake”. After that, I’m going to bake two cupcakes and call them “Kal-El Needs to STFU and Step up to the Plate” (white with a jelly center) and “Kara is Still Krazy” (pork-flavored). At least the JLA knows which side they’re on and are willing to make a stand for justice. I get that Kal and Kara are conflicted, but they’ve got to see that Alura was beyond negotiating three or four issues ago before she went all Idi Amin. This isn’t an attack on their characters, but a question as to why this hasn’t come to a head sooner. Nevertheless, this is the chapter I’ve been waiting for – action galore! A

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #21: “Bored now.” D

Kick-Ass #5: After taking its good sweet time coming out, the latest issue of Kick-Ass was well worth the wait. Millar’s wheels are finally out of the mud and rolling down the highway at least 15 MPH over the speed limit. Normally I complain about Millar’s inability to maintain the flow of his stories – they’re too slow, too loud, too full of Millar, what have you – but this time around he manages to balance the action with his characters’ development. Kick-Ass and Red Mist driving around Dodge “on patrol” is a spot-on budding bromance scene out of a summer blockbuster (no doubt the reason it was written this way) cemented by their then answering a desperate call for help. A guilty pleasure even now, Kick-Ass makes my dog bark. A

François Peneaud of The Gay Comics List and Brother to Dragons gave Frater Mine #6 and 7 a great review on his site. Click on the image to embiggenate:

My recent perseveration is getting the word about my comic out more, but I want to avoid the “user” (pushing myself at the expense of others) and “abuser” (flooding people with updates) models of self-promotion. There has to be a third option, but I have no idea what it is. I do know, however, it will involved a new website design.

Getting ready for the holiday took me away from reviewing comics for a few weeks, so to catch up, here are my encapsulated opinions. Feel free to email me for deatils.

X-Infernus #1: Strong start with diabolical subplots. I’m hoping this leads to a reincarnation of The New Mutants. A

Dark Reign #1: Oh noes! Another event!! In its favor, however, is its short run (three months according to the checklist). Working against it is that it’s another event.

Secret Six #4: Simone’s idiom of gelling disparate elements borders on vaudeville at times, but it continues to intrigue. A-

Action Comics #872: “New Krypton” continues by adding more useless characters to the board (“Creature Commandos”? Really?) while finally touching the main conflict. B-

Final Crisis Revelation #4: DC’s treatise on the Nature of God is one of the most disconcerting comic read of the year. Loves it. A+

Final Crisis #5: DC’s Millennium + 20 years = Final Crisis #5.

Supergirl #36: The penultimate chapter of “New Krypton” finds Alura being a horrible mother and a krytpo-centered, myopic slattern. I wish this had actually happened back in chapter 3. A

Manhunter #37: While I normally don’t like “X years later” jumps in plots (the atrocious A.I. still haunts me), Andreyko’s jump gives me a sense of continuity that will extend beyond the last (next) issue. A+

Hellblazer #250: Old-fashioned holiday fun the way they used to do it in Hell. A

Wonder Woman #27: Gail Simone loves these characters as demonstrated by the rich textures and motivations and interactions she gives them. Her Genocide scares me way more than her Junior. A

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #20: Cool idea, but after the pointless “Return of Fray” storyline, do we really need another break from the Big Bad’s arc? My magic eight ball says, “Definitely not.” C+

Runaways #5: I’m starting to find the “the best way to end a conflict is to just end it” idiom to be a fun one. It let’s the story move on to more interesting problems. Other than that, not much happens. B

Thor #12: Loki continues to rise as my favorite transsexual villain as he and Hela make plans to rule everything. A+

X-Men NOIR #1: Ugh. They did it better on Smallville‘s “Noir” episode (and that sucked eggs).

Ultimatum #2: It seems the Wasp can’t get a dignified death in any universe A-

Orthocomics is pleased to announce that Frater Mine #7, “Through the Wave That Runs Forever”, by the team of Sean McGrath, Juan Romera, Ed Brisson and Scott McGrath is now available at IndyPlanet.

Mark, Matt and Colleen are on the run and looking for their missing kids. but where do they start and who’s on their side? New players jump into the fray, but if they’re friends, they certainly don’t act like it! Check out this story of magic realism that Rachel Pollack said she “really enjoyed”.

Order your copy now while the price is still $2.50 (the real price of $2.95 should be posted soon)!

Please feel free to send feedback, fan mail or requests for divination. Sean specifically requests that fans send used (not soiled) underwear (with pictures).

WARNING! Spoilers ahead!

Comics Should be Good! has a month of LGBTQ comics that are “must read”. Check them out here! Megan Rose Gedris, who is a talented and sweet young woman-who-loves-women, made the list and I’m thrilled for her. She makes good comics. Congratulations, Megan!

From my brother:

Bro:

Dominic drew this and wanted you to have it.

Also, Dominic says, “Can you make a comic book again, please? SpiderMan. I want it to be Dr. Octopus and I want it to tangle Spiderman up and then I want the Green Goblin to punch him and I want you to write POOM! ‘cuz the building I want thme in is very old and part of it blowed up and I want it to be Venom in it putting his web in SpiderMan’s face and then SandMan going around SpiderMan to make him so dizzy.”

Well, there it is. I have a feeling now that the drawing was just to butter you up. The kid does, indeed, know some angles in life. Good luck.

(I told him that you’re in school and might not be able to get to this right away.)

Scott

I won’t be able to get to it for another week or so, but I will do it for him. The kid really does know how to get what he wants.

Superman #681: Part two of “New Krypton” sees Lex Luthor’s worst nightmare come true – Earth inhabited by out-of-control aliens. Not that the Kryptonians are wreaking havok everywhere they go (the dead blue whale aside), but with an overly defensive and smarmy-looking Thara Ak-Var and an alien-killing super-being thrown into the mix, it’s only a matter of time before cities start to fall. I hope. Obviously, the 100,000 Kryptonians are going to stay around Earth because they would nullify the need for any other superhero title again ever. However, the method and motive of their departure are still to be told. The best scene of the entire issue is between Martha Kent and the one member of the Superman Family who knows where he’s needed the most. Good boy! A

Madame Xanadu #5: If I had one criticism of this book, it would be that the centuries are slipping by way too fast. Matt Wagner doesn’t have to hit all the major events from 1000 A.D. to the present, but maybe a brief layover in the Renaissance would have been nice. A visit with Nostradamus perhaps. The “discovery” of America and subsequent slaughter of the American Indians would have topped my list of events for Miss X to run to. This is not to say that the French Revolution isn’t high on drama and intrigue; it is. I’m just saying there could have been a few more stops between there and here. B

1985 #6: I read this in the store because I had to see how it ended, and… really? “Everybody go home!”? That was the only logical conclusion to this story Mark Millar could come up with? It was so sad I wanted to pat it on the head and help it find it’s mommy because it was obviously lost. Alas, poor highly-anticipated mini-series, we hardly knew ye. F

Thor #11: When Captain America died last year, I found myself not caring too much. Not because I didn’t like Cap, but because his death was the latest in a series of ploys to shock and awe Marvel readers. And in the final analysis, it didn’t seem that anyone in the Marvel U cared. At all. Until this month. Don and Thor’s goodbyes to Captain America seem to be JMS’s none-to-veiled commentary on the state of American politics – where the speculation of what a hero would do overshadows the good s/he accomplished. When “who would Captain America vote for?” (terribly paralleling the “Jesus wants you to vote for McCain” screeds of late) is the best memorial people can create, it’s heartening to see that at least Thor remembers how to honor a friend and hero. A+

Thor: The Truth of History: Can anything done by Alan Davis be bad? Never (even if his Thor doesn’t like the Egyptians very much.)! A

Runaways #3: “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.” Recent Log Cabin Republicans whining aside, there is something to be said about not tolerating intolerance, especially the kind that leads to violence or the demonization of “the other”. Even Brecht knew this. “Intolerant” is a nice way of saying “s/he’s an ignorant motherfucker”. I suppose that if people wallowed in their ignorance and left everyone else out, it would be OK, but for whatever reason, they never do. Like Typhoid Mary, they spread ignorance and fear and anger. That was what I got out of this issue. A

Final Crisis #4: FINALLY!!!! The main FC book isn’t bogged down by its own cleverness hits its stride. It still saddens me that most of the other DC books refuse to acknowledge any of this is even going on (even if it is just two weeks in the future), because according to the Flash, the whole multiverse is teetering on the brink of the Abyss. And *sigh* wasn’t Barry’s kissing Iris just about the best thing to happen in comics in years? It’s still unclear to me who Turpin met at the Dark Side Club in issue #1 if he’s being infested by Darkseid in this issue, but I am clear that he’s now two hard-nosed bad-asses in one. A+

New Krypton: I have a feeling this is going to be messy by the end, mostly because Superman is a dick in this issue. I know there’s superdickery.com which exploits the older pre-”Boy Scout” days of Supes, but really, there is no excuse for him throwing his human parents and Earth under the bus just so the Kryptonians don’t get their red undies in a twist (I jest, of course; their undies come in all sorts of colors, not just red). First, he gives props to Jor-El and his tape-recorded civics lessons for helping him to turn out the way he is today, side-stepping the fact that it was really the recently departed Jonathan Kent who did that. Whu…? Worse, the juxaposition of Zor, Alura, Kara and Kal having “the first El family dinner in ages” while Ma Kent eats funeral leftovers alone back on the farm is a foreboding foreshadowing if ever I saw one. If Superman knew nothing else about Kryptonian culture, he should at least know it was their arrogance that got them blowed up in the first place. How he thinks a few years in a bottle mellowed them out is beyond me, and why he didn’t take umbrage with the whale-killing Kryptonian… well, this event has “spare the rod and spoil the child” written all over it. Still, the writing is tense and I’m going to follow this story across every issue. A

Benjamin Ruth of Rebel Comx is making my nephew’s birthday (maybe Christmas, if the timing doesn’t work out) gift this year. I commissioned him to do a poster of Dominic as a Sith Youngling, and so far, it looks like this:

Stunning, right? Ben works as an artist for a gay greeting card company. Keep an eye on him because he’s gonna be famous before too long.

Wonder Woman #25: It seems that even in Gail Simone’s world a Wonder Woman movie is not meant to be. However, unlike the comic movie which “lacks a proper second act” (my favorite line of the whole book), the conclusion to this arc is proper and exciting every step of the way. No one can balance all out action with beautiful little human moments like Gail Simone can. A+

Superman #680: “Happy.” A+

Secret Six #2: I’m just flat-out embarrassed for Catman. God love Gail Simone for trying to give him a sense of dignity, but he’s Catman, a rip-off of Batman so painfully obvious that he resists pride. I’ll give her this: she didn’t retcon him into a cool costume or a better origin, as is the DC way of late. However, she left him with the impression that he’s Batman’s arch-nemesis. Those other guys, “petty little psychos who [Batman has] made into celebrities”. Catman goes so far as to say “One day, we’re going to kill each other, aren’t we?” But I think it’s this level of self-delusion that I like about Catman; the same way I like the damage of the rest of the Secret Six. They’re badasses, but they’re also completely fucked up. A+

Legion of Three Worlds #2: OOOOoooh that Superboy-Prime is in dire need of that spanking I spoke about last issue. Lightning Lad agrees with me, as do most of the 31st centurians; Superman is the only hold out for a happy morally high-grounded ending. I honestly have no idea which way Geoff Johns will go by the end. I’d hate to see another “death in the DC”, but an “I love you, Willow” probably won’t eke out the requisite cleansing rehabilitative tears. Funniest moment: the bickering Brainiac 5 triplets. A+

Final Crisis: Revelations #3: Revelations ties with Legion of Three Worlds for the strongest titles of the whole Final Crisis extravaganza. I wasn’t impressed at first, but now I can’t believe the ideas that are coming up, particularly the idea that God has abandoned His creation and left it in the hands of Evil at the end of the world. I imagine for people who see 2008 as the threshold for the Last Days, that God has indeed abandoned them. Every day, I read about how Christians feel under attack from the liberal media, Islamic extremists and teh homosexual agenda. Poor things. I prefer to think that maybe we’ve outgrown that God and are moving to a place where Justice and Mercy don’t have to flow directly from Him, but stem from each of us individually. At least I hope so. Anyway, that was what I got out of this issue. A+

Runaways #2: There is a lot going on in this book for it being two issues old – an alien attack, a job for Chase, an alleged suicide attempt, new digs. It seems Terry Moore is setting up stories for the next three years, which I wouldn’t mind if it means he’s sticking around for that long. I love his Nico. I’m not sure how it does it, but her face is more cartoony that everyone else’s yet, she doesn’t stick out like Roger Rabbit. Xavin is like the clown fish of Runaways . S/he isn’t funny-ha-ha, but she can switch genders as the situation needs. This issue sees her (typically) masculine side coming out to threaten Karolina’s Majesdane attackers. But something was not sitting right with Karolina in terms of Xavin. I didn’t finish Whedon’s Runaways, though I’m not sure Whedon finished Whedon’s Runaways, so it’s possible something damaged their relationship or maybe Karolina mistrusts Xavin’s clown fishiness. Whatever the reason, it was a moment of sadness in the book. A-

Astonishing X-Men #27: Given what Warren Ellis was doing last month with The Boys, I feel this month’s X-Men to be a bit of a trap. Maybe Ellis is starting to fall into the groove of the Whedon legacy, but this is the guy who brought us Planetary and Transmetropolitan and Desolation Jones and I doubt he’s suddenly learned how to be cute. Not that he isn’t talented enough to find the cute voices in him, but he’s getting into Buffy levels of banter here. Frightening. I also think he and Brubaker are in a competition to up the ante for how sexually charged each issue can be. This month’s round goes to Ellis because bestiality (or “xenophiliac experimentation” as Agent brand puts it) always wins. My theory on this is that he has a deal with Grant Morrison to write comics that are too accessible and too inaccessible respectively and see how far their fans go to defend their writing as “cutting edge” and “metatextual” and “brilliant”. Honestly, I can explain this issue any other way. B+

Uncanny X-Men #503: The X-Men are led a merry chase through downtown San Francisco by Empath, the most evil (if not the most flimsy) of all the late Hellions. If i didn’t hate this guy before, I do now, especially since he struck a low blow to Sam Guthrie (“Dead baby brother!”), who holds a special place in my heart as showing the first naked (male) New Mutant butt during my mid-adolescence. Action aside, Scott Summers honestly needs therapy. I mean, deep-down monstrously invasive therapy. Brubaker’s entry in his competition with Ellis has Emma in Scott’s brain playing Dungeon Mistress when they’re supposed to be doing reconnaissance and he doesn’t realize it’s not really Emma!. What the…? Did Luke and Laura ever go through shit like this? No. And they live in a soap opera. And, finally, I get what Brubaker is doing with his heroic bio-captioning, something I wasn’t all that enamored of because it was too clever by half UNTIL Pixie stabs Empath right through the thought-maker and her caption says “Megan Gwynn. Pixie. X-Man.” Then I got it, and now I love Pixie. She’s not Kitty Pryde, but she’s an armed and dangerous woman. A

My brother sent me an email that was dictated by my nephew, who apparently loves all things Spider-Man:

Sean:

Dominic has Spider Man questions:

1) Can Sandman be killed?

2) Does Spider Man have a Spider Car like the one you can ride in the arcade in Niagara Falls?



Us

To which I responded:

dear nephew and brother,

so far in the comics, the sandman has only been captured, not killed. i’m not even sure how someone made of sand could be killed. maybe he’ll just get old and die that way. plus, spider-man isn’t big on killing.

and

spider-man never had a spider-car in the comics BUT there was a toy spider-car made for action figures – http://www.megomuseum.com/wgsh/playsets/spidercar.html. however, superman had the supermobile for a while when he lost his powers – http://sayitbackwards.blogspot.com/2007/06/supermobile.html. cool, huh?

oh oh oh! did you see the pictures of the puppies i’m taking care of?

lovelove,

uncle sean

Tired then of my brother as an intermediary, my nephew addressed his questions to me directly:

Uncle Sean:

Thanks. How did Superman lose his powers?

I gave my best answer, only vaguely recalling the origin of the Supermoble and how it tied into the activation of Amazo:

kryptonite dust got caught in the earth’s atmosphere and robbed superman of his powers. he built the supermobile to continue to work for good. the supermobile had all his powers – strength, heat vision, x-ray vision, flight, super breath – and was pretty cool

lovelove,

uncle sean

But Dominic loves Spider-Man, not Superman, so his next email got the conversation back on track:

Uncle Sean:

Why does SpiderMan not have the Spider Car? What if SpiderMan lost his powers? I was just wondering.

Love,

Dominic

*whew*! The kid asks some pretty good questions for a four-year old. My part is to answer them without overwhelming him with information, knowing that the questions will keep coming if he’s unsure about something. Also, I know my brother and Dominic do arts and crafts like their “monster specimen jars”:

…and “Good Guys of Oz”:





…so, I thought he’d be up for an art challenge:

dominic,

peter parker, the guy under the spider-man mask is not wealthy. he usually rides the subway everywhere or walks or rides a bike. a car is too expensive for him. also, in new york, there is a LOT of traffic. imagine if spider-man got stuck in traffic driving to help someone. oh oh! and one of spider-man’s powers is to climb walls, right? it would be hard to make a car climb walls.

HOWEVER, i think YOU should come up with a story about a spider-car then draw it for me. we can read it together the next time i see you

i think spider-man DID lose his powers in the comic book one time. a friend of his, a superheroine called “the black cat” helped him get them back, but i don’t know how he lost them or how he got them back. i’ll ask my friends who love spider-man what happened.

love you THIS MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

uncle sean

My challenge was ignored, but sure enough, he wanted to know more:

Uncle Sean:

Why did SpiderMan have to lose his powers in the comic book? Spiders never lose their powers.

Love you, too.

Dominic

God, I love this kid! So, I respond:

dominic,

what hapened was the two of spider-man’s foes – the scorpion and tarantula – created a machine that took away his powers. eventually, with the help of the black cat, he got them back. you’re right, spiders never lose their powers, but spider-man was born a person, not a spider. he got his powers through an accident.

lovelove,

uncle sean

I’m sure this kid knows I’m a pushover. He knows his Mom is a pushover, so why should any other adult be different? So he turns the challenge back on me BUT he gives me a script to follow:

Uncle Sean:

Could you make me a comic book of SpiderMan? Can you put The Sandman in it trying to kill Peter but SpiderMan caught him in the net with his Spidercar and then the Green Goblin shows up and Peter tries to catch him but he can’t because his net is all full and Venom shows up and then MJ throws a brick at Venom and he goes “Nnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” and then SpiderMan tries to kill Dr. Octopus and then there is a fight and Dr. Octopus dies? He thought he couldn’t but he could. And that’s it.

Dominic

I took a few creative liberties because my art skills have gone down the toilet since I stopped practicing years ago, but also because I’m not going to be the one to introduce him to killing and death (even though he seems to have some awareness of it already). I finished the other day and send this back to him:

For which I got back a simple but lovely:

Uncle Sean:

Thank you!

Dominic

(He had me read it to him twice.)

Awwh! And of course, here’s my little superhero dressed up as his hero:

I love this little guy THIS MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Manhunter #35: FINALLY we have a smackdown worth the name, but what else can one expect from an issue with a bloodied Kate beckoning her enemies forward with a “Bring it.” on the cover? Again, it’s my thing for armed women who aren’t afraid to fire the first shot that draws me back to Manhunter every month. And I never blame Kate or make her out to be a psychopathic monster like.. well, like people say Batman is (though I still don’t see it). A+

Superman/Batman #52: And in this issue we find everything that’s wrong with the DC Universe writ small. All the fun and whimsy and exuberance in the storytelling was sucked out the window when things had to get “real” (read: “somebody had to die”). And what was the point? To teach Li’l Batman that true darkness doesn’t come from seeing one’s parents get pushed? To finally kill Superman in a permanent way that wouldn’t ruin DC’s economic base? To show that the writers are pinheads who toe the DC line? To finally kill comic books? Jesus. F-

Madame Xanadu #4: Once again, Nimue gets cooter-punched by a man she respects/admires/has the humpies for. Twice in this issue alone! I can see that Matt is taking his time in making this adorable (if not incredibly ancient) waif the cold spinstress we all know and love in the present. It’s a pleasure to watch a craftsman who really enjoys his work. A+

The Boys #23: Garth Ennis hates everyone. He hates superheroes. He hates the government. He hates capitalists. He hates his characters. He really hates Marvel. He hates cute. You know what he loves? Garth Ennis. B+

Jesus Hates Zombies with Lincoln Hates Werewolves #1: Iconoclasm rocks. And I think that Jesus would have less problems with this comic than shit like this which justifies shit like this because they’re straight and “forgiven” in His name. Forever and ever. Amen. Allegedly. Dare I say Jesus Hates Zombies is delightful? A laugh a page (maybe more)? Destined for greatness? I dare. Because it is all that (as was written by the prophets of old in “The First Book of Opinions”). ‘Lo! A+

And who knew under all those woolen undergarments that Lincoln was so HAWT (as Michael Bracco portrays him):

BAM KAPOW!, the TMZ of comic news (OH OH OH! Who else is excited that Kenneth Branagh wants to direct the upcoming Thor movie???) has a video that translates V’s inaugural speech in V for Vendetta to great comedic effect.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

–Thanks to PinkKryptonite!

Uncanny X-Men #502: So, Hank McCoy is finally coming out of the closet, eh? If I walked away from this issue with one impression, it’s that Hank has either gone camp or he’s gone Butch Camp. Can anyone else smell the poppers? If I were permitted a second impression, it would be that Scott and Emma need therapy. What’s revealed about Emma in the story is nothing new, but it’s an aspect of her that seems to have been pushed aside to make her and Scott seem more… compatible. Otherwise, this is a fast-paced, fun issue that still under-utilizes the unwieldy cast despite the “family” moments peppered throughout. I can’t totally blame Brubaker, but that’ll change in a month or so. A

War Heroes #2: I think I’ve figured out Mark Millar – he’s the Anne Coulter of comics: strident voice and a talent for upsetting people (if I had to guess I’d say that “people” = “bleeding heart liberals” (whatever that means)) with his childish homophobia and creative violence. However, if one were to turn the volume down a bit – and with Millar the volume is ALWAYS!! SET!! AT!! TWELVE!! – one would find that he isn’t saying very much in terms of his characters or stories. He spends his energy trying to be “more” than he was the previous issue: more shocking, more violent, more offensive, more… well, “loud”. Don’t get me wrong, he’s apt at loud, but as a reader I’m growing a bit weary of it. I’d say he should add in scenes that back off of the intensity, but one has only to look at his painfully subdued work on 1985 – where every scene lacks impact and importance – to see how well that works out. I enjoyed this issue of War Heroes, but like Secret Invasion I’m not sure how much higher the stakes can get as they’re pretty high already. Maybe Millar will surprise me in the final analysis. B-

Wonder Woman #24: The greatest moment in this issue was Diana admitting to Tom that she doesn’t experience his touch the way that he experiences hers. This isn’t an existential statement, it’s a practical statement that I’m surprised no one has considered before. To say nothing of the lifestyle superheroes lead, some, like Diana, are almost invulnerable. What does holding hands with a beloved someone mean to them beyond a symbolic gesture of intimacy? Gail Simone’s talent for characterization and the impact of tiny moments on a story shine here. A+

Secret Invasion #6: I hear issue 8 will close this baby with a shock no one will see coming. Especially me, since I stopped reading as of this issue. F

Final Crisis: Revelations #2: For a comic universe that boasts a wide-ranging pantheon of gods, DC is certainly going Biblical on its readers (which makes sense for a comic titled “Revelations”). The rarely-seen-yet-often-referenced Judeo-Christian God places Herzims more popular props – God’s Vengeance, God’s Mercy, the Spear of Destiny and Cain – on the playing field to get… what? A story of epic scope told on street level, it’s a grand read, but how this will reach across the entire DCU is still a question I can’t answer. Unless… what if the world ended across every DC title? Like they all blinked in the same issue and then in the next all was balanced again. Grant Morrison is certainly bold enough to do this, and the DC editors have shown how good they are at handing down sweeping decrees, so, why not? I’m starting to believe that the lack of “the sky is falling” attitude, prevalent in all DC books during Crisis on Infinite Earths, is purposeful. If no one is expecting the world to end, how much more surprising it will be. A

Stephen King’s The Stand #1: The Stand is the very best in post-apocalyptic literature for me. It encompasses a bit more of the fantastic than Earth Abides or Alas, Babylon, but unlike those rather clunky tomes, King’s vision of the world ending by disease weighed on me for weeks after I was done reading. The beautiful artwork of Marvel’s adaptation alone is worth the price of the issue, but I begged off on starting this series because it’s only five issues long which in my opinion is just not enough space to cover the vastness of the original novel. Let’s call this “The Neverwhere Syndrome”. B-

In more bizarre news, has anyone seen Rob Liefeld’s Godyssey?

Superman/Batman #51: The Li’l Leaguers made my weekend. I haven’t picked up Superman/Batman since Killer Cousin Kara arrived in the book a few years ago (yes, I even missed the now-classic “Superman Gets High“), but after seeing it reviewed at Comic by Comic, I had to head back to my local comic shop and get a copy. Man, it’s all about the juxtaposition! I don’t who this guy Albuquerque is, but his ability to draw the adorable-but-outright-cartoony Junior League next to their muscly-but-human-looking adult counterparts and not cause a huh? in my brain impressed the dickens out of me. Even more than that though, Green and Johnson’s characterizations of Mini-Superman is dead on for his sunny (relatively speaking) disposition (everything is “AWESOME!!” and “COOL!!”), but their genius is in their Mini-Batman who is just Batman in a smaller body (“I’m the goshdarn Batman!”). Though the story drifts in the DCU unfettered by any ties to Trinity or Final Crisis or RIP etc. etc. etc., it’s infinitely more delightful than anything I’ve read in a while. A++

Manhunter #34: There is a LOT going on in this issue, not only in terms of action, but also the extensive cast list. If this were a lesser writer, I’d be concerned that the whole story would fall deep.. ok, deeper into soap opera territory – just look at the complicated (yet “brief”) family history as told by Grandpa Iron and Gramma Phantom Lady – but Marc Andreyko avoids the hysterics while keeping everyone’s lives messy. Spoiler alert, but the cover is completely misleading, and I should be more disappointed than I was, especially after last month’s cliffhanger had me drooling to see Kate and the Birds of Prey kick some Suicide ass. Each side got their licks in, but it wasn’t the slugfest I was hoping for. Still, I came away satisfied with the outcome. With all the brouhaha over Northstar being a celibate eunuch (not redundant; see “Farinelli”) over at Marvel, it’s nice to see Todd (Obsidian finally out on parole from whatever it was he was doing in JSA) and Damon share a little sugar. Of course, we’ve seen them kiss before and have a post-coital moment in bed, so… yeah, this round to DC in the “Gayer than Thou” wars. A+

X-Men: Return of Magik #1: Strange déjà vu because I know I’ve seen these stories before. Any original material of my favorite mutant demon sorceress on the way? No grade.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #18: I’m going to retract 60% of the contempt I had for Joss Whedon’s re-using Dark Willow (as telegraphed from orbit revealed last issue) and say that it lends sufficient pathos to the plot built up around her and the future of the Slayer race (i.e., there is none) to keep me onboard. Still, there’s a lack of focus on the sub-plots – what happened to the Slayers after the castle went BOOM, what is Twilight and how bad are they are chiefly blurry – and adding treants to the mix didn’t clear up the haze. Other than that, the issue really belongs to Xander and Dawn (PLEASE don’t let them get together!!!) and Kennedy for schtupping Willow while voluntarily possessed. B-

The Boys #22: The dénouement of “I Tell You No Lie, GI” doesn’t tell us anything new about the supes or their role in the world, but with the revelation that Wee Hughie is dating an auxiliary Seven member trouble can been seen rising like the sun in the East. And poor Annie. When she blinded A-Train, half on top of her, pants all the way down, I should have cheered the way I cheer for Scully when she draws her gun on the Freak-of-the-Week, but I felt more like she is getting what she deserves for not walking away from the whole mess. I’ll have to read the back issues to find out what’s keeping her there (unless someone can email the info and save me a lot of money). For as strident as people are about Kick Ass’s childish homophobia and cartoonish violence (which, God help me, I enjoy reading), I find The Boys far more troublesome. A-

Secret Six #1: I want to have Gail Simone’s ability to jump into a story head-first, free-style through her characters and kick like mad through sub-plots. (Yes, this is a Michael Phelps-inspired hook. Why?) I don’t even like these people, but her villain-in-a-box and compassionless anti-heroes aren’t really too far off from the actual heroes of the DCU in terms of their heroiclessness. Plus, Catman is hot and needs to be naked more. A+

Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #1: This this this THIS is how one hosts a Crisis. While I thought that his Revelations wasn’t all that revelatory, Geoff Johns’ first issue of Legion of Three Worlds has convinced me to believe that he knows what he’s doing and ride both titles all the way through. Yes, I’ll say it now: Legion of Three Worlds was perhaps the best mainstream comic I’ve read all year. Perez’s art was Perez’s art (is it ever bad? No.). And as someone who hasn’t followed the exploits of the Legion of Superheroes since Mordru was defeated in some kind of puppy pile-on back in the 70′s, I picked up on the plot almost immediately and was pulled along by the action. My only problem: what the hell is Superman doing here? Yeahyeah, it’s not the Legion without Superman, but isn’t he busy with five or six other titles (two of which have him on Crisis-duty elsewhere in the Universe)? This is more of an editorial issue than a writing issue in the final analysis, but that doesn’t make it less annoying. Still, I’m hooked. I’ll be here to see (from my keyboard to god’s ears) Superboy-Prime spanked hard at some point during this saga. Really. Redemption or no, someone better make this kid cry by the end. A+

Uncanny X-Men #501: Maybe riding the high from Legion of Three Worlds made me enjoy this issue more than I should have, but… I’m going to retract everything I said about X-Men based on reading #500. To be sure, #500 sucked (LORD, did it suck!), but #501 pulled itself out of the suckage and got me feeling all joyous and sad and angry and vengeful for the ‘tants (I’m trying out a new nickname for my favorite homo-superiors to counter the “Mutie scum” hate-cry of the new Hellfire Cult). And was that Jean Grey all decked out as Mistress of Humiliation? Maybe we’re seeing a preview of the next Millar/Land title – Phoenix: The Domination? A

1985 #4: Picked it up. Scanned it. Put it back. F

Final Crisis Revelations #1: There’s a scene in the painfully awkward and unexpectedly popular show Charmed wherein the demon Drake (acted with more zest and believability than anyone else on the show in the entire eight years of its tortured run by Billy Zane) is asked by the anemically acted Paige, “Okay, and how exactly did that (before demon, now human) happen?” to which he replies, “Personally, I hate exposition, but if… All right.” Me, too; I hate exposition. However, having said that, I don’t mind being clued in every once in a while as to what the hell is going on in a story. Libra is stronger than God’s Vengeance? The Question is stronger than The Spear of Destiny (I’m assuming that’s what it was)? And the only satisfactory way that the rabidly evil Dr. Light could be taken out was to be melted by The Spectre? Out of public view? How anti-climactic. There’s a bit of false advertising in the title of this book because not much is revealed, but there’s four issues left, so we’ll see. And though it offers no clues as to the plot, Final Crisis Counseling’s annotation of Final Crisis will draw gooey orgasmic gasps from literature folks. Maybe a reader there will put it all together for us. C+

Wonder Woman #23: Not my favorite arc in Gail Simone’s WW run so far, but it ended… well, it ended. I loved how formal Donna got with Nemesis swearing on her beating heart to be his galpal, his shoulder to cry on and that she’ll be there on his doorstep with a barrel of Ben and Jerry’s when he’s had a hard day of sanctioning people. I think she swore to braid his hair, too. Really, the whole issue was about Nemesis and making him look good. B

Helen Killer #4: I’ve been a fan of this series since before it came out, and now that it’s over, I’m glad it’s not going to overstay its welcome. Not to say I don’t want to see other (short) stories every now and again, but Helen Killer ended on a high note and that note should be allowed to sound out for a while. And I’m not saying this just because I was quoted on the back cover (second only to Stan Lee, thank you very much). Though Helen Killer is over, Andrew Kreisberg will be taking over writing duties for Green Arrow/Black Canary with issue #15. I’ve never read the title, but I will peek at it now. A+

Astonishing X-Men #25: I will say this for Simone Bianchi, he (he is a he, right?) is a risk-taker when it comes to laying out a page. He also loves his spacecrafts. Truth be told I love his spacecrafts. What I don’t like are his ink washes and his portrayal of Storm. How he can make salvaged UFOs float like hot-air balloons, but make her look like a rice sack in flight is a question I can’t answer. Warren Ellis deepens the mystery of the previous issue while ignoring Uncanny X-Men‘s ignoring his work. Still, I remain unconvinced that I’ll be keeping this title for more than another month or two. I like the premise, it’s just not a fun read. B

Secret Invasion #5: I swore I wasn’t going to pick up this issue, but when I glanced at it in the store, it looked like the plot was moving forward, so I bought it (I seem to have forswearn myself more than once recently). And, to Bendis’ credit, it did. To Bendis’ detriment, it’s still issue 5 and I’ve waited this long to see that the Skrulls have become intergalactic Republicans who want to save us from ourselves (allegedly). Not conquerors. They’re on our side. Really. They know what’s best for us. Cuz… uhm, yeah, they have an empire. HUGE empire. Right? Right. Oh, and *single tear* for Mockingbird. C+

In geek news, check out the cute old school AD&D alignments poster, but that’s all. Don’t read the rest of the site:





In non-comics-related news, four men claim to have a Bigfoot corpse in their freezer. Skeptics going on photographic evidence only, pooh pooh the claim. I’d like to believe this, but one of the four’s brother-in-law posed as a biologist to support their claims. When discovered, they claimed it was only a joke, but despite that, the Bigfoot corpse is real.

Worth1000.com is having a “Photoshop an AD&D Monster” contest. My bother is going to enter a… ha ha ha. That’s a secret for now. When his entry is accepted, I’ll post the link here for voting purposes.