News of the Right

Manhunter #31: YAY!!!! Manhunter is back!!! I’ve been waiting for this issue since last summer when DC announced the the title’s non-non-non-cancellation, and Marc Andreyko doesn’t disappoint (I can’t say “it was worth the wait” because nothing is worth waiting a year for. I’m impatient by nature. Penelope was a rube.). He’s managed to jump back into the storyline and not lose a word of style. Big plus: Obsidian makes an appearance! Bigger plus: Special guest appearance!! A+

House of Mystery #2: I still don’t know how I feel about House of Mystery. I like the centerpiece stories, but the “plot” doesn’t do much for me. The characters are interesting, but they don’t do anything interesting except act confused, which isn’t all that interesting. B

Kick Ass #3: This kid doesn’t learn. And that is the appeal of the story. Dave is either out for the fame of being a hero or he’s really trying to make a difference in the world, but either way, he rushes blithely into danger knowing he doesn’t have the power to back-up his advances. This issue is more of a bloody mess than the previous ones with no upper limit in sight. A+

Secret Invasion #3 SPOILER: So, Tony Stark is a Skrull. Did anyone NOT see that coming???? And the spaceship Captain America is the real deal???? And if Cap-who’s-dead is really a Skrull, can be believe a Skrull would die so nobly for Myspace? Is this like one of those Battlestar Galactica Final Five sleeper Cylons who never knew they were Cylons until a switch was flipped? I can’t wait for someone to explain when all these exchanges happened, but, honestly, do I even care anymore? Uh… no. No, I don’t. And the tie-ins? One time my students were talking about how much they loved the Kelly Clarkson song “Because of You”, and I said I really didn’t get what being afraid to stand on the sidewalk had to do with anything else in the song. One student said, “Oh well, that’s covered in the music video. You have to see the video to really understand.” and for a second - a very rare second in my teaching life - I completely camped out and drawled like Edwina Monsoon, “WATCH THE VIDEO? It’s a Kelly Clarkson song and you’re telling me there are SUPPLEMENTARY materials that enhance the listening experience, darling? Is THAT what you’re telling me?” Which applies to SI tie-ins, too. D

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #15: I was wrong. “Wolves at the Gate” managed to close off in a satisfactory way in only one issue, even though the Rule of Joss was in full force for the hapless Xander. Really, is Mrs. Whedon under any kind of security detail because if I were her, I’d worry. And not sign any huge life insurance policies. Also, it was good to see Willow and Buffy share a friendly moment, even if the Dark Waters of Magic threaten to drown Willow at every turn. A+

Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A+

Final Crisis #1: There will be inevitable comparisons to the first DC crisis (Crisis on Infinite Earths), and Final Crisis may look a bit worse for it. In the first crisis, even though we knew universes were being destroyed and that the cloud would eventually come to the proper DCU, there was enough suspense about the who and the why (to say nothing of the excitement of seeing every DCU character interacting and the shocking deaths along the way) to buoy readers along and advance the plot. Final Crisis plods unnecessarily through the first issue and nothing really happens. I’m sure Grant Morrison has an amazing trick up his sleeve to get everything back to rights, but his leisurely legerdemain had me crying in frustration. And how did John Stewart not recognize Orion? Anyone remember a little thing called Cosmic Odyssey? C-

1985 #1: Millar is all about the intersection of reality and superheroes, as evidenced by Kick Ass, Ultimates and now 1985. Having been a young comics nerd in 1985 myself, there’s a lot of familiarity in these pages, especially in the comic shop with the wall-of-nostalgic-covers, but the story doesn’t compel me to read further. Really, do the centerpiece villains have the be the Vulture and the Mole Man? C

Thor #9: This will, no doubt, be my last issue of Thor. I liked the idea of him reconstituting the Asgardians and making neighbors with the Kansasians, but with this issue, we’re back to Loki (Lokie? Lokishe? Lokette?) trying to fuck around with everyone and divide loyalties and make herself look better than she really is. It’s the old Thor storylines again. This saddens me because the book started off hot, now it’s back to the tepidness that got it canceled in the first place. C

Hellblazer #144: Stories about libraries of “lost” books are like porn to me. Tales of bad popes and a Deity that really does watch what we do and secret theologies are dangerous porn, but more compelling than “cuz the Bible tells me so.” Hellblazer is my new dudetube. A+

House of Mystery #1: I know I enjoyed reading this book, but I’m not as interested in the “plot” as I am in the stories the people in the house tell (or will tell). Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to see something like the original House of Mystery with several enjoyable, fun and vile stories per issue. B+

Wonder Woman #20: Wonder Woman meets Beowulf and The Stalker. Nice and kitschy with a strong retro spin. So very 2008. A

Grendel: Behold the Devil #7: Oh, Matt. MattMattMattMattMatt. You tricked me again. It’s my fault, really. I was bedazzled by your violent streak and charmed by your body count. The zombies distracted me from the flimsy story and now… the final betrayal: your penultimate issue is a summary of all the old Comico Grendel incarnations: Christine Spar and on. Oh, Matt. That’s why the Good Lord invented Wikipedia. D

The Dresden Files #1 - 2: SciFi couldn’t get it right, and gods love the Dabel Brothers for trying to get it right, but Harry Dresden still doesn’t have a decent half-life outside of his novel element. The story - Welcome to the Jungle - is intriguing, but the characters seem uncharacteristic, and the art is of the Witchblade boobs-and-abs-a-poppin’ style, which the cover art completely belies. B-