News of the Right

Runaways #1: When I last read this title, the kids were stuck in the 1800’s with someone’s out-of-time-and-still-alive parents-of-the-past out to get them and a sparkly, floaty Jezebel out to ruin the cute lesbianish couple and I didn’t care. REALLY didn’t care. I’m not certain that Joss Whedon finished that arc or that Marvel even wanted to, which is a sadness because I liked those kids (and their baby raptor, too). This week, however, sadness becomes gladness as the reliable-as-Tonto Terry Moore’s first issue on ultra-hip writing duties hits the stands. The kids are back on Earth, but aliens who have lost heir homeworld (we know this because it’s said about 12 times on the first two pages) are looking for a little remuneration all over Karolina’s butt. Moore keeps the dialogue and pace snappy and Humberto Ramos keeps the kids in chunky boots and enviable waists. I’m sold. A-

Madame Xanadu #3: At the risk of Rachel Ray Face-ing this title, I have to say I look forward to it every month more than any other title out there. Yeah, it’s only a few issues in, but Matt Wagner’s grasp on the fantastic and magickal has always been second only to Neil Gaiman… ok, and Rachel Pollack, which makes him third in line if I’m going to keep track of the numbers. But unlike Neil and Rachel who keep their magic more mythological and messianic than immoderate, Matt’s magic makes marks in the mundane. Amy Reeder Hadley’s art lends more credence to the every day magical with her clean lines and wide-eyed and elfin Nimue. Set in China 400 years after issue 2, Nimue is the court seer for Kublai Khan, foretelling the beginning of a beautiful friendship between Khan and the young Marco Polo. Then stuff goes wrong. And right. And wrong again. My great hope for this book is that one day there will be a smackdown between Nimue and Morgan le Fey in a future issue. That, and the return of Ericankhamun. A+

Kick-Ass #4: And my students say I’m a tough grader, when here I am about to hand out another A+. I have this vision of Mark Millar and JRJR on Skype for hours at a time, howling with laughter as they come up with more and more vile things for children to say and ways to cut a human body so it can bleed most profusely. Then I hear someone (probably Millar) say, “We’re going to fucking end civilization, man! Those pussies at South Park never dreamed of going this far! It’ll be kids versus parents! Murder in the marketplace! The. End. Of. EVERYTHING! God! And they PAY us to do it to them, man! They fucking pay us to be the fucking Devil!” Take my vision as you will, but I’m pretty sure that’s how this issue came about. In spite of this, I still enjoy this book. It’s not a gleeful joy, but a Very Bad Things schadenfreude. A+

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond: Read. Left. F

First, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Right. Better now. On to the comics!

Madame Xanadu #2: Matt, you’ve restored my faith in your story-telling abilities. Don’t screw it up. A+

War Heroes #1: Have you ever ridden cross-country on a bus, surrounded by soldiers on holiday leave? I have, and, Deity love the troops, but I think half of them are insane or at least in desperate need of some reality therapy. Maybe some estrogen just to take the edge off. Seriously. I heard one guy give the most earnest account of how he had been stationed at Area 51, how it was all hush-hush and “every fucking thing you ever thought about that place is real, man!” at the top of his lungs. I’m not saying he was representative of the troops in general, just of the ones who take buses cross-country (how I wish he had been the only soldier of that kind I’ve met). Mark Millar seems to share my opinion. His war heroes are not noble nor are they caught in a situation of their control; they are in the war for the glory and the power. I fear Millar may be saying something about our broader culture - lionizing the troops and the war while we give up privacy and the safety of our children. The story is hardly nuanced, but it is intriguing. And condemning. A (it would have been an “A+” but Millar really needs to stop writing closing letters in his comics. He looks like a self-obsessed maniac.)

X-Men #500: Besides this being an historic moment for Marvel Comics, there had to be several reasons to publish this story. I’m guessing the primary reason was to completely undermine the premises Warren Ellis built in Astonishing X-Men #25, to say nothing of Simone’s designs. New place to live (and it’s GREEN. there’s lots of to do about how GREEN the new X-mansion is, to the point where Hank calls Logan “that awful little Canadian” for his non-GREEN, smog-loving ways). New costumes. New plot that has nothing to do with Ellis’ plot though the cast is exactly the same. And this “new plot” is depressingly old: Sentinels and Magneto? “Mutie” haters? Oh, dear. I know I’ve said 100 times before that I long for a return to the old days of comics, but I meant good writing, interesting stories, characters I can relate to, not actual old stories. Speaking of the Claremont Hole, Nightcrawler appeared out of nowhere! I know that’s his power, but he wasn’t shown as being a member of the team, in the SF area or even near the X-mansion, yet - BAMF! - he gets one word and one panel of face time, then falls back into the event singularity. Also, no less than three times did someone comment on the spectacular views of SF then completely fail to show us said views. It’s an anniversary issue: go crazy with the page count! And Greg Land, step away from the lightboard and take a drawing class. This kind of over-the-top reaction to the mayor of San Francisco’s stance on the First Amendment





is best left to posturing for an enemy who’s actually trying to kill the X-Men. F-

And a special “Thanks, rotten orange!” to Joveth for mentioning me and Frater Mine at the Prism Emerging Voices panel at Comic-Con. Shout outs are always welcome and very cool. Let me know when you do one and I’ll send you a McDonald’s gift certificate.

I’ve been away from “That’s My Bag” for a few weeks for two reasons: I was trying to get my review of Justin Hall and Dave Davenport’s Hard to Swallow #3 for Prism Comics (which turned out to be much better as an interview (can I say how much these guys crack me up?)), and for two weeks when I went to ABC there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without or I would buy one book and not want to talk about it on its own. Finally this week I have five books to review.

Grendel: Behold the Devil #8: Whu..? But she said… And then he… Why did…? Fail. F

1985 #2: The first of my ambivalent reviews. I like it, but the build-up is a bit slow, like the story is being parsed out so it can support six issues instead of four. Of course, it could be that the plot is so awesome that it requires this much groundwork to be laid before said awesomeness can be revealed. Here’s hoping. B

Final Crisis #2: I didn’t hate this issue, but at the same time I didn’t see any reason to love it. I still don’t know how Final Crisis can be going on at the same time as Trinity, but there’s no reference to one in the other. Also, didn’t Turpin meet Darkseid’s new body last issue? So, why is he now being referenced as “the father of Kalibak”? Have the gods of Apokalypse gone viral? I’m intrigued if only because the information presented so far is too sparse to see the Big Picture, but far-ranging enough to know there is a Big (if not Supremely Large) Picture to be seen. But, really, what does a barroom brawl between metas in Tokyo have to do with anything and will it be worth the 8 out of 30 pages spent on it (I’m actually hoping Sonny Sumo will turn out to be Barda and with Mister Miracle being a mysterious black man, well… go, gay gods, go!). B

Madame Xanadu #1: I’ve been hurt by you before, Matt Wagner, and you know what it is you’ve done to me. Yes, I’ve seen you become unnecessarily intent on your choice of cold cuts at the supermarket when you see me pass through produce. It’s your guilt, Matt. You can’t bring yourself to look at me and with good reason. You should feel bad about what you’ve done, and if you lead me astray again with Madame Xanadu, I’ll give up all pretense of us trying to “just be friends.” (a cautious) A

Wonder Woman #21: I know Gail has a plan for this story arc, but I wish she’d clue the rest of us in. Also, I’ve seen Diana’s red talon before; I just can’t remember where. B