
The folks over at CPB are taking a week off to get ourselves ready to advance from beta to… is it “alpha”? “The Omega Opening” (and doesn’t that sound tawdry?)? I have no idea. What happens after “beta”? Whatever it’s called, we’re heading there and I get to come back here to Orthocomics, do my reviews, and figure out what’s to become of the blog while CPB takes off.

Batman and Robin #3: Like a steak and potato dinner, this was satisfying. Very satisfying. Like, eating said steak and potato dinner, sleeping for a few days to wake up and discover you’ve lost 7 pounds not from a wasting disease satisfying. Leave it to GMo to come up with an airborne addiction and sound effects like “HAUUU NAUUUUU!” Frightening. A-
Batman: Widening Gyre #1: If I’m going to point Fingers of Blame ™ at anyone for this… let’s call it “a second chance gone awry”, it’ll be Mike Marts and Dan Didio for failing to do their jobs as editors. I know that Kevin Smith is pretty famous for his spaghetti-and-aspic-on-the-wall-let’s-see-what-sticks-and-gels approach to writing; I also know that mileage varies from work to work (compare Dogma to Chasing Amy). Yet for some reason, Marts and Didio seem to have not known this, or at least didn’t let it bother them in the editing process. I’ll admit that I bought this issue for the cover art (levels and levels above the interior art) and the title (“Widening Gyre”, how cool of a title is that?), so anything beyond this should be gravy, right? Sure, but lumpy, orange-flavored beef gravy? Maybe not so much. The mish-mash of multiple guest stars, incongruent backstories, and out-of-character speeches (Batman: “Sonnuva.. the kid pulled a ME.”; Etrigan: “No way…”) and nonchalant conflict resolution read more as “we need to fill pages” than “we’re telling a complex story”. D
Detective Comics #856: I still can’t put into exact words why I like this series as much as I do. The story has the hallucinogenic effect of Alice in Wonderland, a dream populated by bleary-eyed sleepers and hunters. I do know that I have to pick up the Crime Bible: Five Lessons in Blood to get a better handle on what this Religion of Crime is all about. B+
Madame Xanadu #14: There’s wisdom that says “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” but I’ve been expecting it to turn its attention to Madame X and her lady-love Marisol for some time now. I applaud these women for being bold enough to stay in Spain while, ya know, people are being killed to the left and right around them for offenses far less serious than acting out scenes from “Hot Babes in Loose Skirts.” However, not arming themselves or being more cautious or living somewhere deeper in the woods was just utter foolishness on their parts. Seriously, when the Christianists have their way with America and I become illegal for just being, I’m going to be fortified enough to take at least a dozen with me when they show up at my door. Yeah, “and your little god too!” Having said that, I like this issue, except for Kaluta’s strange rendition of the female form on the cover. I make fun of Greg Land for his impossible breasts and ineptitude in connecting head bones to neck bones and on down the line, but Kaluta has surpassed the master with his frightening Holocaust Special Madame X. B
Wonder Woman #36: I think Diana takes on too much responsibility that isn’t hers. Yeah, yeah, she’s got the whole wide world on her shoulders and has had for some time now, but taking Pele’s accusations of being complicit in Zeus’ murder of Zane, and “set[ting her] father alone against the wrath of [her] entire pantheon” is supporting an unduly free interpretation of the events. I’m sure she’s feels guilty about Zane’s death and all, but making a pledge to Pele when she’s just crawled out from under her Amazonian vows seems like she’s not thinking clearly at all. And awwh poor Tom! How is Diana going to explain her “I never loved you” away? I’m sensing a new direction for Diana, but it seems like Gail Simone is also only sensing it. B
New Mutants #4: Ah well, that was a disappointing read. Yeah, my girl Illyana got some scary one-liners off, but all in all, I think I’ve read this story before; ya know, “Legion screws everything up before the Muties pull it together.” I’m not digging the trophic characterizations (especially, God help us, with the dialogue) when by this time the Muties should be more individuated.
Dark Avengers #8: Angt! More angst! Less fighting for the sake of fighting and more angst! Jeez, what happened to the promise of the first issue? C




Normally, I try to get “That’s My Bag!” weekly, but I’ve let it (and my grading; sorry, students!) slide for more… personal matters. I’m catching up in a few weeks of comics here, so everything will be brief. I hope to make this feature regular again, especially since this week is SPRING BREAK!!!






First, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Right. Better now. On to the comics!



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2d. "Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."
— G. K. Chesterton
Orthocomics is an indy comics studio that pulls talent together to create novel, thought-provoking comics. Titles currently on the market are Frater Mine the oh-so-tantalizingly-familiar Generic Goddess Coming soon: PRAXIS!!

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