Oh, did anyone NOT see this coming?
The world’s oldest jokes still keep ‘em laughing in the aisles.
Get Your War On. Oh my.
A long-lost copy of the complete Lang opus Metropolis has been found in Argentina!!!!
Hummer owners really are arrogant assclowns.
Brave police officers taze 13-year old boy with broken back nineteen times for not complying to their authoritah.
“Talula does the Hula from Hawaii”, 9, given new name by judge. Really, I couldn’t make the headline funnier if I tried.
Apollo 14 astronaut claims aliens have made contact with world governments; the Disclosure Project says, “Told ya so!”
Andrew Giuliani sues school over golf suspension. Claims he’s a hero of 9/11 and should be reins… oh wait, that was his father.
Florida Catholics lovingly threaten USF student after he takes Eucharist “hostage.”
Two stories via Joe.My.God:
Amazon.com’s Kindle takes the weight of college students’ backs.
Tippi Hedren is reincarnated as a Barbie doll:



Ten year old knows more about saving taxpayers’ money than this government.
Iraq says fish and the US stink after five years.
Why not Vincent D’Onofrio again? Please?
The right’s obsession with mushroom cloud imagery continues.
The Doomsday Vault. Now that’s thinking ahead. Fatalistically.
Louisiana governor and erstwhile exorcist Jindal says I.D. is a science.
A warning from the grave or a final “nyah nyah”?
Transformers is “offensive“.
“Iraqi protesters” ray-gunned down.
Once again, the gays move in and make things better in the ‘hood.
Church welcomes everyone.. oh, except this kid.
Google maps told to take a detour.
As someone more clever than I said, “Seattle’s Breast” works better.
Rachel Ray, jihadist.
Larry Craig should quit while he’s ahead.
Once again, the Vatican proves it is 2,000 years old with its pre-ERA stances.
Do you eat too much? Yeah, you do. Be thankful for it.
What would National Masturbation Month be without a Masturbate-a-thon?
I’ve always liked Mexican Coke better anyway.
Teacher or Pinko Commie?
Teacher or Master of the Dark Arts?
There are no atheists in foxholes. Oh wait. Yes, there are.
Kill all you want, just don’t look at boobies.
GOD: Creator of the Universe and OPEC member.
Less funny, but more important: traitorous bitch Pelosi to be unseated in Congress (Please, God. Please.)
Sorcerers in the Congo have a hate-on for the penis.
Google tries to out-classify Craigslist.
Kids. Be. Gone. Need I say more?
Time to start that orchard and apiary I’ve been dreaming of.
Is an energy powder marketed like coke a bad thing?
Does myth reflect reality?
Finally!!! A teacher says standardized test are worthless!
Cutting-edge Homeland Security technology based on 1990’s Rutger Hauer and Mimi Rogers movie.
Tim Robbins – traitor, Saddam lover, terrorist supporter, underminer of the troops is my new hero!
Could pot be legal by the end of the year?
“Good kids” plan to hurt teacher for “being mean”.
Eight glasses a day, a myth?
Drink me, baby. Tainted wine.
Peace is old.
Arkansas children must wait ’til they are 18 to go down the aisle.
Botanist sues to prevent End of the World.
Fixing It: Repairing some of the worst Bush Administration screw-ups.
Finally, a viral video that I think is stunning, an elephant paints a self-portrait:
Talk about preparing for the worst.
French village wants more snottiness and less death.
Show your love for the Prince of Peace by verily smiting his enemies with automatic weapons.
War profiteers to earn $12 billion dollars a month in taxpayers’ money.
Drive-by shooting in LA escalates to stand off.
Triad of sociopathy: bed wetting, setting fires, and torturing animals.
McMansions may be “the tenements of tomorrow”.
Kill Me Elmo
A modified 1959 Opel gets 376+ MPG!!
The Emotiv Epoc Neuroheadset can read your thoughts and make your gaming characters more “you”.
The Miami PD welcomes drones to the force.
A&M students march to vote.
CA kids don’t need education, but, dammit, Republicans need yachts!
OMFG!!
OMG! Tampires.
Texans can now call a dildo a dildo and not a “martial aid”.
Bad enough when a priest touches a kid, but leave it to the Catholics to make it worse.
Will it still work if I close my eyes?
President Bush hands out a lesson in tough love.
The body has barely had time to cool and Gay Mormons are meeting with the new leadership.
Brad Pitt is a kissing cousin. Woo hoo!!
My only question is how does one sip from it?
UPDATE: No matter how much I try to worry about this latest outburst by the Pope, I only hear “The Inquisition” in my head.
A disease of the upper class: “wealth denial”.
Punxsutawney Phil says global warming is a crock, predicts more winter.
This may be a sure sign of the End of the World. If not, it’s still wicked crazy.
38 million candle power?!?!?!?!
Does the Pope Wear Prada?
A Japanese company offers workers “Heartache Days” when love affairs end.
Because of things like this, cops are beginning to scare me.
UPDATE: Other cops think that this woman was treated the way she should have been. I know there’re two sides to a story, but c’mon!
UPDATE: The Stark County sheriff’s office is withholding video in the case of Hope Steffy. Feel free to call them at 330-430-3800 to express your disgust.
Tough love by the NannyState. The Mississippi state legislature does its part to keep fat people out of restaurants. WWMPD? (what Would Mary Poppins Do?)
“Canadian” is the latest code word for the N-bomb.
In a fit of timeliness, the FCC is fining 52 ABC affiliates $1.4 million for showing a woman’s bare buttocks on NYPD Blue. Back in 2003.
Scholastic segregation. It’s not just for the 50’s anymore.
Katrina victim puts price on his suffering – $3 quadrillion!!!
“Guns don’t kill people. Dogs kill people.”
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”; Schmon’t Ask, Schmon’t Tell.
Nothing funny about this – Congress gets a $4000 raise.
The poorly-named “No Child Left Behind” Act is up for renewal, but not without some Ted Kennedy fixin’.
The ever-beautiful and charming Elizabeth Montgomery (rest her soul) was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
What the devil is a Nabaztag???
The Pope declares war on Satan and assembles exorcism squads to lead the fight.
Brattleboro, VT drafts war crimes indictments against Bush and Cheney.
Jesus is a “lady with a beard”; Christian guys want kick-ass Jesus and less shame about Internet pron.
Spanish Bishop makes unclear claim: either children seek out sexual abuse or gay men are the same as pedophiles. His protests seem too much.
A policewoman in a Florida Best Buy Tasers a “loud” customer.
The Lakota Nation of American Indians has seceded from the United States.
Pro-lesbian t-shirt throws teacher for a loop; student almost suspended.
Because Americans are Christian and love to shop, the Talking Jesus action figure at Wal-Mart has sold out.
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— G. K. Chesterton
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