Last summer, I heard Maggie Gallagher say the most reprehensible and simultaneously twee-est (if I’m using the word right; it means “cutesy”, correct?) thing to ever come out of her voluminous pie hole: “Marriage is not a civil right. In fact, it’s a civil wrong.” Her ability to turn a phrase aside, Mags’ head should have by all rights exploded from just the uncut rage I was sending her way (to say nothing of the other people I’m sure were doing the same thing). Ah, “Scanners,” you disappointed me once again. So, what’s a guy to do?
Easy: write her as a blobby (well, “blobbier”) hulk with swaying tits in league with all the other hating low-lifes and get friends to help make it into a comic book.
I now present to you the fruits of our labor – Rise of the Pink Ninjas: A Gay Fantasia (click on the hate to get the fun):


“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”
– Galileo Galilei
With any sort of luck, extremist Christianity is gasping its last, though if what I saw on January 4, 2009 at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY is any indication, they’re definitely going down fighting, even if it’s through a fog of self-deception and pitiable myopia. Dedicated to the beliefs that a.) the Earth was created in six days, b.) the Earth is a mere 6,000 years old, c.) Noah’s flood was a worldwide disaster and d.) dinosaurs roamed Eden alongside Adam and Eve, the Creation Museum was a have-to-go side trip on my way back to Texas after two weeks at home with my family. Why did I go? To make fun of it? To know what is being said? To satisfy my curiosity? To know the enemy? To see if I’m missing out on something? Ostensibly, this was a side-vacation to see the ever-adorable Jonathan Riggs, but why this place to meet up?
Of late, whenever I’m approached at a red light by someone from a church organization looking for a donation to keep drugs off kids or trout-mouth slatterns out of the Senate offices or whatever, I tell them I’m an atheist. I’m not (per se), but it ends the discussion and makes me feel like I’ve ruined someone’s good time. I know. It’s horrible of me, and it’s also becoming something of a compulsion. One that I’m going to have to get control of, especially after what I did a few minutes ago.
Last night, we had snow in Austin, and my friend Ann changed her status on Facebook to something about how we should all pray for more snow, and then this happened:


Whatever ran a LOLCreashun contest last month to see who could LOLize pictures from the Creation Museum. Check out the entries. They made me LOL. My faves are below.


Because I love the Bible and all its sordid ridiculousness, I have to highly recommend Gutsville to …well, everyone. This book has it all – a premise that defies common sense yet draws one into its implausibility, art that all at once is claustrophobic and overwhelmingly large, puritans and other religious fanatics, serial killers, magic and flabby, old-man ass. How can anyone go wrong with such a diverse combination of elements? Writer Simon Spurrier and artist Frazer Irving bring to (dark and eeire) life the story of the descendants of the colony ship Daphne, stuck in the belly of a great sea beast for the past 157 years. They call themselves “Jonahkin” and await the time of “the Great Regurgitation” while being ministered by a justice system that makes The Scarlet Letter look like the ACLU. Yes, it’s as disgusting and oppressive as you imagine, but completely compelling. Get issues 1 and 2 today and breathlessly await issue 3!
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2d. "Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."
— G. K. Chesterton
Orthocomics is an indy comics studio that pulls talent together to create novel, thought-provoking comics. Titles currently on the market are Frater Mine the oh-so-tantalizingly-familiar Generic Goddess Coming soon: PRAXIS!!

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