Of anyone I (or you) know, I am the one person who can believe in anything seemingly impossible. I will get run over by the “we just saw/experienced/were attacked by something weird” bandwagon in order to jump on it. Vampires? Could be. Werewolves? Sure! Zombies? A distinct possibility. Faeries? Why not? Bigfoot? “More things in Heaven and Earth…”.
Gnomes?
According to The Sun (yeah yeah yeah, I know), we don’t have to speculate anymore because proof of gnomes has been filmed by a teenager in South America.
A town in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a ‘creepy gnome’ that locals claim stalks the streets at night.
The midget - which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk - was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.
Teenager Jose Alvarez - who filmed the gnome - yesterday told national newspaper El Tribuno that they caught the creature while larking about in their hometown of General Guemes, in the province of Salta, Argentina.
He said: “We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning.
“I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking.
“Suddenly we heard something - a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones.
“We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid.”
Jose added that other locals had come forward to say they had spotted the gnome.
He said: “This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out - just like everyone else in the neighbourhood now.
“One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.”
This is the film of what they saw. Quite frankly, it’s the coolest thing I’ve seen in a while, true or not.
This morning around 9:45, I was waiting for the bus out on MLK Boulevard when something caught my eye - a portion of a rainbow haloing the sun. I’ve seen them before, but only today found out they’re called “sun dogs“. They’re apparently a common enough phenomena, but what made this one unusual were the clouds it was made from. They were feathered, wispy almost, and as I looked at them across the sky, they had an overall wave-like shape the went from west to east. The overall effect (and the copy of The Hastur Cycle in my hand) was pretty creepy.
Then I saw a UFO.
Yeah. No shit. A UFO.
A high-altitude plane was flying southeast to northwest through the sun dog, and the contrail was lingering longer than it should have (I thought it might be a chemtrail, but it did eventually dissipate completely) so I watched it pass overhead and then behind me, when I saw a green dot flying in a straight line north-to-south over the Morris Williams Golf Course. It was lower than the clouds, but high enough that I couldn’t see any details.
The object took about two minutes to pass overhead (noiselessly) and reach the feathered-cloud bank, whereupon it disappeared. I don’t know if I lost it in the sky or what, but I felt strangely let down. Being a big believer in the paranormal and the not-everyday, I was expecting that my first sighting of a UFO would be a bit more exciting. Or that I would be overwhelmed and faint dead away only to wake up a week later in my bed with no memory of the preceding days. Maybe things like that only happen to country folk. Of course, it’s always a bad idea to wish for a different conclusion to an experience; the universe usually makes one repeat the experience with undesired outcomes.
I haven’t heard if anyone else saw this object, but then again, I have no idea where to look for such information. Has anyone else ever seen something strange in the sky? Post your stories here.

When I saw this on the magazine rack at HEB tonight, I COULDN’T believe what I was seeing! George Clooney - gay??? Matthew McConaughey - his cruller of love???? Oh, it was more than my poor heart could take, beating as fast as it was! Forget the Harry/Dumbledore/Snape slash fiction, here was a personal wet dream come true! All I could ask the Universe for was the chance to see them out at Rain some night (from my mouth to God’s ears) making out on the dance floor. Shirtless (maybe that’s asking too much).
Then cruel cruel reality set in as I snatched up the Heaven-sent People magazine and saw exactly how far the Universe would go to make sure there would be no boys-in-love superstars in my life. Why deny me, Universe? Why?!?
Anyway, here’s what the reality was.
Damn those racks at the grocery store! I like my version better.
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1a. This is what happens when hookers get uppity and think they have feelings.
— in response to The Sex Movie
Orthocomics is an indy comics studio that works in affiliation with Making Comics Studios. Titles currently on the market are Frater Mine the oh-so-tantalizingly-familiar Generic Goddess Coming soon: PRAXIS!!

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