News of the Right

Final Crisis Revelations #1: There’s a scene in the painfully awkward and unexpectedly popular show Charmed wherein the demon Drake (acted with more zest and believability than anyone else on the show in the entire eight years of its tortured run by Billy Zane) is asked by the anemically acted Paige, “Okay, and how exactly did that (before demon, now human) happen?” to which he replies, “Personally, I hate exposition, but if… All right.” Me, too; I hate exposition. However, having said that, I don’t mind being clued in every once in a while as to what the hell is going on in a story. Libra is stronger than God’s Vengeance? The Question is stronger than The Spear of Destiny (I’m assuming that’s what it was)? And the only satisfactory way that the rabidly evil Dr. Light could be taken out was to be melted by The Spectre? Out of public view? How anti-climactic. There’s a bit of false advertising in the title of this book because not much is revealed, but there’s four issues left, so we’ll see. And though it offers no clues as to the plot, Final Crisis Counseling’s annotation of Final Crisis will draw gooey orgasmic gasps from literature folks. Maybe a reader there will put it all together for us. C+

Wonder Woman #23: Not my favorite arc in Gail Simone’s WW run so far, but it ended… well, it ended. I loved how formal Donna got with Nemesis swearing on her beating heart to be his galpal, his shoulder to cry on and that she’ll be there on his doorstep with a barrel of Ben and Jerry’s when he’s had a hard day of sanctioning people. I think she swore to braid his hair, too. Really, the whole issue was about Nemesis and making him look good. B

Helen Killer #4: I’ve been a fan of this series since before it came out, and now that it’s over, I’m glad it’s not going to overstay its welcome. Not to say I don’t want to see other (short) stories every now and again, but Helen Killer ended on a high note and that note should be allowed to sound out for a while. And I’m not saying this just because I was quoted on the back cover (second only to Stan Lee, thank you very much). Though Helen Killer is over, Andrew Kreisberg will be taking over writing duties for Green Arrow/Black Canary with issue #15. I’ve never read the title, but I will peek at it now. A+

Astonishing X-Men #25: I will say this for Simone Bianchi, he (he is a he, right?) is a risk-taker when it comes to laying out a page. He also loves his spacecrafts. Truth be told I love his spacecrafts. What I don’t like are his ink washes and his portrayal of Storm. How he can make salvaged UFOs float like hot-air balloons, but make her look like a rice sack in flight is a question I can’t answer. Warren Ellis deepens the mystery of the previous issue while ignoring Uncanny X-Men’s ignoring his work. Still, I remain unconvinced that I’ll be keeping this title for more than another month or two. I like the premise, it’s just not a fun read. B

Secret Invasion #5: I swore I wasn’t going to pick up this issue, but when I glanced at it in the store, it looked like the plot was moving forward, so I bought it (I seem to have forswearn myself more than once recently). And, to Bendis’ credit, it did. To Bendis’ detriment, it’s still issue 5 and I’ve waited this long to see that the Skrulls have become intergalactic Republicans who want to save us from ourselves (allegedly). Not conquerors. They’re on our side. Really. They know what’s best for us. Cuz… uhm, yeah, they have an empire. HUGE empire. Right? Right. Oh, and *single tear* for Mockingbird. C+

In geek news, check out the cute old school AD&D alignments poster, but that’s all. Don’t read the rest of the site:





In non-comics-related news, four men claim to have a Bigfoot corpse in their freezer. Skeptics going on photographic evidence only, pooh pooh the claim. I’d like to believe this, but one of the four’s brother-in-law posed as a biologist to support their claims. When discovered, they claimed it was only a joke, but despite that, the Bigfoot corpse is real.

Worth1000.com is having a “Photoshop an AD&D Monster” contest. My bother is going to enter a… ha ha ha. That’s a secret for now. When his entry is accepted, I’ll post the link here for voting purposes.

Wonder Woman #22: I’m not much for dream sequences because they’re never handled well (the exception being the “Restless” episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer), though in this issue Gail Simone certainly has the surreal overlapping of times and places down pat. This seems like a long way to go just to reintroduce some of DC’s old 1970’s characters, especially because they’re “not real”. I think. I’m really hoping for Beowulf and Claw pop into the real world to help Diana fight the Devil. Stalker’s really real, so why not them as well? Best line of the book: “Warmongering succulent!” A

Secret Invasion #4: Punch shoot punch shoot. Repeat. Secret Invasion is becoming less and less expansive each month and more and more pointlessly violent. I get that it’s a war and violence is part and parcel therein, but it feels unimportant. Each panel that shows someone getting the tar beaten out of them is one panel not dedicated to plot. As with Final Crisis, I look to Crisis on Infinite Earths as the gold standard of events. Why not pack each page full of battle and discovery and paranoia? Why have the heroes in the Savage Land been chasing Empress Spider-Woman around uselessly for half the story? She’s not trying to hide and from all indications she’s undefended and slow-moving. This may be the last issue for me. C-

Final Crisis: Requiem: I read Requiem in the comics store and was touched by the story, but I refused to buy it in protest for the shabby and ignominious way in which J’onn J’onzz was dispatched by the powers-that-be at DC. I know that every ….Crisis at DC requires casualties, and the editors pick their victims for shock and awe value, but I don’t see why it had to be J’onn, especially since I don’t think he’ll stay dead long. C’mon, when he telepathically contacted all his friends, different parts of their faces were subverted by his. I see a Wrath of Khan resurrection coming up which makes me more grumpy than the death in the first place. I’m really hoping that Final Crisis resets all of the DCU so the stories can be finally unburdened by years and years of bizarre continuity. Sadly, with the main titles barely even mentioning the current Crisis and Trinity only a few weeks into its year-long run, I don’t see that happening. I guess I can look forward to being surprised by Grant Morrison’s next several issues.

Other News: Witchblade: the Complete Series will be available July 29, 2008. Even better, Friday the 13th: the Series will be available September 23, 2008. I loved these shows and cannot wait to possess them on DVD!

Comics Should be Good has an exhaustive list of Comic Book Urban Legends which, in addition to their regularly expansive articles, will cost you hours and hours of productivity to get through (they’re nearing 200 stories as I write this). Celebrity porn for the comic book set.

Brian Andersen of So Super Duper fame has a new comic book coming out: Reignbow and Dee-va which he’s hoping to finish up in time for Comic Con. He’s been nice enough to send along a few preview pages. Click to see the full-sized images.













Finally, Claymation seems to be a theme in my life this week (maybe the Universe was prepping me for the opening sequence from Hellboy II), begun by the following two videos. I try to avoid posting from YouTube because one never knows how long the videos will be available for, but I’ll make an exception here. The first is from a dark “children’s” movie called The Adventures of Mark Twain; anyone remember this from their childhood? The second is Primus’ cover of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. Funny, but one of these days, someone has to give Johnny’s reels a bump up to the truly ecstatic. Frankly, had I been judging, the Devil would have won.









Happy Saturday!

I’ve been away from “That’s My Bag” for a few weeks for two reasons: I was trying to get my review of Justin Hall and Dave Davenport’s Hard to Swallow #3 for Prism Comics (which turned out to be much better as an interview (can I say how much these guys crack me up?)), and for two weeks when I went to ABC there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without or I would buy one book and not want to talk about it on its own. Finally this week I have five books to review.

Grendel: Behold the Devil #8: Whu..? But she said… And then he… Why did…? Fail. F

1985 #2: The first of my ambivalent reviews. I like it, but the build-up is a bit slow, like the story is being parsed out so it can support six issues instead of four. Of course, it could be that the plot is so awesome that it requires this much groundwork to be laid before said awesomeness can be revealed. Here’s hoping. B

Final Crisis #2: I didn’t hate this issue, but at the same time I didn’t see any reason to love it. I still don’t know how Final Crisis can be going on at the same time as Trinity, but there’s no reference to one in the other. Also, didn’t Turpin meet Darkseid’s new body last issue? So, why is he now being referenced as “the father of Kalibak”? Have the gods of Apokalypse gone viral? I’m intrigued if only because the information presented so far is too sparse to see the Big Picture, but far-ranging enough to know there is a Big (if not Supremely Large) Picture to be seen. But, really, what does a barroom brawl between metas in Tokyo have to do with anything and will it be worth the 8 out of 30 pages spent on it (I’m actually hoping Sonny Sumo will turn out to be Barda and with Mister Miracle being a mysterious black man, well… go, gay gods, go!). B

Madame Xanadu #1: I’ve been hurt by you before, Matt Wagner, and you know what it is you’ve done to me. Yes, I’ve seen you become unnecessarily intent on your choice of cold cuts at the supermarket when you see me pass through produce. It’s your guilt, Matt. You can’t bring yourself to look at me and with good reason. You should feel bad about what you’ve done, and if you lead me astray again with Madame Xanadu, I’ll give up all pretense of us trying to “just be friends.” (a cautious) A

Wonder Woman #21: I know Gail has a plan for this story arc, but I wish she’d clue the rest of us in. Also, I’ve seen Diana’s red talon before; I just can’t remember where. B

Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A+

Final Crisis #1: There will be inevitable comparisons to the first DC crisis (Crisis on Infinite Earths), and Final Crisis may look a bit worse for it. In the first crisis, even though we knew universes were being destroyed and that the cloud would eventually come to the proper DCU, there was enough suspense about the who and the why (to say nothing of the excitement of seeing every DCU character interacting and the shocking deaths along the way) to buoy readers along and advance the plot. Final Crisis plods unnecessarily through the first issue and nothing really happens. I’m sure Grant Morrison has an amazing trick up his sleeve to get everything back to rights, but his leisurely legerdemain had me crying in frustration. And how did John Stewart not recognize Orion? Anyone remember a little thing called Cosmic Odyssey? C-

1985 #1: Millar is all about the intersection of reality and superheroes, as evidenced by Kick Ass, Ultimates and now 1985. Having been a young comics nerd in 1985 myself, there’s a lot of familiarity in these pages, especially in the comic shop with the wall-of-nostalgic-covers, but the story doesn’t compel me to read further. Really, do the centerpiece villains have the be the Vulture and the Mole Man? C

Thor #9: This will, no doubt, be my last issue of Thor. I liked the idea of him reconstituting the Asgardians and making neighbors with the Kansasians, but with this issue, we’re back to Loki (Lokie? Lokishe? Lokette?) trying to fuck around with everyone and divide loyalties and make herself look better than she really is. It’s the old Thor storylines again. This saddens me because the book started off hot, now it’s back to the tepidness that got it canceled in the first place. C

Hellblazer #144: Stories about libraries of “lost” books are like porn to me. Tales of bad popes and a Deity that really does watch what we do and secret theologies are dangerous porn, but more compelling than “cuz the Bible tells me so.” Hellblazer is my new dudetube. A+

House of Mystery #1: I know I enjoyed reading this book, but I’m not as interested in the “plot” as I am in the stories the people in the house tell (or will tell). Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to see something like the original House of Mystery with several enjoyable, fun and vile stories per issue. B+

Wonder Woman #20: Wonder Woman meets Beowulf and The Stalker. Nice and kitschy with a strong retro spin. So very 2008. A

Grendel: Behold the Devil #7: Oh, Matt. MattMattMattMattMatt. You tricked me again. It’s my fault, really. I was bedazzled by your violent streak and charmed by your body count. The zombies distracted me from the flimsy story and now… the final betrayal: your penultimate issue is a summary of all the old Comico Grendel incarnations: Christine Spar and on. Oh, Matt. That’s why the Good Lord invented Wikipedia. D

The Dresden Files #1 - 2: SciFi couldn’t get it right, and gods love the Dabel Brothers for trying to get it right, but Harry Dresden still doesn’t have a decent half-life outside of his novel element. The story - Welcome to the Jungle - is intriguing, but the characters seem uncharacteristic, and the art is of the Witchblade boobs-and-abs-a-poppin’ style, which the cover art completely belies. B-

Wonder Woman #19: What do Wonder Woman and my friend Michelle have in common? Gay men love them both. Unfortunately, Diana may have chosen a gay man to be her boyfriend. No real reason for me to think this other than the locker room scene. A+

Young Avengers Presents: Wiccan and Speed: When will Marvel let Teddy and Billy hug? Hold hands? Say “I love you”? As cute as their relationship is, the lack of PDAs is seriously annoying. Overall, the story didn’t do anything other than have Billy say he “sorta” like his brother Tommy at the end of their road trip. When is the on-going YA series coming back? B-

Kick-Ass #1 - 2: Dave asks his friends “why does everyone want to be Paris Hilton, but nobody wants to be spider-man?” then takes the next step of donning a costume to help people out. To some very real results. “Kick-Ass” is only up to issue 2, and i’m hoping that issue three will answer the question, “How DOES a superhero manage to get back home without anyone noticing?” because I’m dying to know. A+

Wonder Woman #18: I’ve never seen Diana in love before that didn’t look like some American chick in love. But Diana isn’t American, so the way she shows her affections shouldn’t be common. Once again, Gail Simone shows how well she can write Wonder Woman’s character. No matter that the Khunds find her (Wonder Woman) to be hideous. A

Gutsville #3: FINALLY!!!!!! I’m still no clearer on who the NoSunMan is nor what Gutsville is inside, but the plot seems to hinge on a giant, magic, glowing uvula. Yeah, I’m not kidding. A+

Serenity: Better Days #1: I’m hoping that this isn’t why it’s taken three and a half years for Joss to write 24 issues of Amazing X-Men and two issues of Runaways, because (and, oh Lord, I know some angry brownshirt is gonna send me hate mail for this) is wasn’t worth it. There’s something about “untold chapters” I mistrust, especially when the movie left with so many other, newer stories to be told. C

Cemetery Blues #1 - 2: I picked this up on a whim and was pleased that my money wasn’t wasted (I’m usually a girl who likes a sure thing). The story begins in medias res - not my favorite technique - but the characters, their motivations and associated conflicts are easy to suss out. Strong uses of legends drew me in and kept me reading. I didn’t learn the why of everything, but I did learn how funny the word “flimsy” can be in certain situations. A

And in the coolest news I’ve heard in days, Manhunter returns this July with #31! Can I get an “All right!”?

Northlanders #1: This was recommended to me by uhm.. this really nice guy at Austin Books and Comics. Dammit, now I’m embarrassed for not knowing his name. (UPDATE: his name is Seth) He said it was a little like Conan, about actual Norsemen and not their gods. It was kinda OK. I always find it disconcerting when ancient characters drop f- and sh-bombs, but one could attribute that to an analogous translation. I suppose. Overall, meh. C

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #11: Joss Whedon came back to write the one-shot story in which Twilight makes his first appearance. I’m convinced we’ve seen this guy before in the regular TV series, though not as “Twilight”. Any guesses as to whom it may be? A

The Infinite Horizon #1 - 2: Also recommended by.. Troy? Trent? Dammit. (UPDATE:  Seth.) I love the classics. I hate war comics. The Infinite Horizon, as a near-future retelling of The Odyssey (set in the Middle East because it’s topical), manages to make me forget it’s a war comic. The art is funky - pulpy, stylized at times, patina-ed not colored. A-

Wonder Woman #17: I cried during this issue (of course, this could be because I’m feeling a little brittle this week). Simone continues her triumphant run on WW, in this, the last chapter of “The Circle”. What else is there to say? A+

As a side note, I’m enjoying the Witchblade anime on IFC, but I wonder at the artistic choice of the jiggly wineskin boobs on all the chicks. I also suspect that the Masane and Hiroko (is that the daughter’s name?) have switched personalities, but are as yet unaware of it.

Wonder Woman #16: I need to go back and re-read the issue that explained where this story takes place and how Diana can access Paradise Island again (if indeed the story takes place on Paradise Island at all), but just knowing how well Gail Simone has been handling the Amazon Princess so far, I’m sure this misunderstanding is completely my fault. Simone even managed to touch me in a deep deep place this issue - one of Captain Nazi’s soldier’s told an underling to burn the library on Themiscyra!!! The evil!!! A+

Astonishing X-Men #24: I will miss this storyline and this team (the X-men and the mundane creative one), but it seems that with the “death” of the X-Men at the end of The Messiah Complex that everyone is going to be re-arranged. Again. At least we get one more issue out of the whole thing - “Giant Sized Astonishing X-Men #1″ - but not until April. The art is stunning, as usual. My favorite panel is the X-Men fighting on the surface of the retaliator, space Breakworld and beyond laid out before them in stunning perspective. A+

Grendel: Behold the Devil #3: Thank God(s/dess) that Argent wasn’t the presence haunting Grendel (in both identities, we find out this issue), because Argent is so… unsubtle (as we also find out this issue, if we didn’t know before). Still, Wagner isn’t dropping any hints (I think) and that’s getting a bit annoying; however, the action sequences and the last line of the issue more than make up for that. A

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #10: Was Andy Owens just going out of his way to be bewildering in this issue for kicks or is this part of a plan? The story overall was great (and sad a bit - not only about the lies revealed but also learning the purpose of The Twilight), but some of the dialogue defied comprehension. Things didn’t seem so bad before, nothing the gang couldn’t handle, right? But now, everyone looks pretty tainted. A-

The Twelve #0 - 1: JMS digs deep into Marvel’s vaults to find his team in this 12 issue mystery mini-series. Issue 0 is a hoot and a half, seeing all the old-time drawings and plot devices. And, man, are they violent! I was stunned by the amount of death (then again the number of times “kill” and “death” are said in The Superfriends stuns me, too) in them. An interesting read. B+

Rex Mundi: The Guardian of the Temple: Why has no one ever told me about this incredible book before?? A

My last reviews of the 2007! I actually got my stash this week from Comic Town in Columbus, OH. My brother and I took a day trip down so I could scope out the city in anticipation of moving there. And what’s visiting a new town without stopping in at the local geek hutch? A trip I don’t want to take, and I’ll tell you that for free. This week was a mixed bag of the great, the good and the “I paid how much for this?”.

Wonder Woman #15: Gail Simone continues her making the Amazon Princess great by deepening the Amazonian culture, history (herstory?) and philosophy (”Punishment for the adult; empathy for the child.”). Simone writes WW like she’s been doing it for ages. Just one question: if WW can’t penetrate the barrier around Paradise Island, how did Captain Nazi?  A

Wrath of the Titans #1: Interesting follow up to Clash of the Titans, but I was uncertain as to why all the gods had to look different from the movie. And why no one really addresses Danae’s blindness. B

Blue Beetle #21: Brian Andersen sent me an email about this issue saying “This will be us one day!!” Written by an unknown, Justin Peniston, this is a good stand-alone story that gives hope to us indy comic nerds that we can break into the Big Time one day. A

Thor #5: A break in the search-and-transform pattern of the past few issues that sets up future plot lines (maybe a few too many). The cover is… misleading, but I like how it ends up. A

Angel: After the Fall #1: I loved Season Five of Angel - the writing was smart, the drama high and the character development was unreal in its placing. With Season Eight of Buffy kicking ass all over the world, I figured that the comic book “next season” of Angel would fare as well. Yeah, not so much. C+

Angel: After the Fall #2: I got issues 1 and 2 at the same time, not knowing what they would be like, but anticipating the best. Maybe because Angel was such a strong ensemble show and the native situational humor and drama between the characters worked so well, that splitting them apart here … splits them apart. and why, oh why, is Illyria with Spike? C

Grendel: Behold the Devil #2: I’m hoping that the last page does not reveal who has been stalking the Devil. I never would have attributed that kind of… grace and agility to him. Still, the blood flows, and the story moves on. B+


HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL!!!!!

Wonder Woman #14: She’s BACK! “Pah!” (as my students would say. Well, “say”.) Gail Simone has bought us a Wonder Woman who is not an idiot, who is not confused and who is not going to shy away from her Amazonian heritage. She’s strong, sly and .. ok, her lasso twists at weird angles, but that’s about my only criticism. An old friend is retconned into continuity, and an older enemy makes himself known. All good stuff! A+

Thor #4: I never read Thor back in the days before he died, but now that he’s back and under J. Michael Straczynski’s care, I’m thrilled to get his book every month. Having reconstituted Asgard and soundly kicked Iron Man’s ass, Thor continues to re-people his kingdom by bringing home The Warriors Three (this is hardly a spoiler; they’re on the cover)! I liked the story itself, but I didn’t like the Kansas-Africa-Kansas commute (too jarring). A