My dog loves me. I know this because I fart. This morning while I was wandering around with a cup of coffee in my hand trying to pull my head together, I broke wind. Nothing wet and loud like I had had a Sonic chili cheese dog last night, but a rather soft “toot” that took me by surprise because I hadn’t even known it was stationed in my intestinal antechamber let alone that it was going to egress. And as if I had whistled for him, my dog Hogan peeked around the corner, head tilted and sniffing the air. I don’t know why I confessed (out loud) to Hogan that I had farted because he’s a dog and really isn’t in a position to grant absolution (being, according to spiritual experts who claim knowledge in this area, soulless), and also because Lord knows he’s done it enough times to me without so much as a “By your leave”. But Hogan did something unexpected: he pranced over to me and leaned his entire weight against my legs, wagging his tail and looking up at me with ecstatic adoration. I was overcome by “AWWWWWWH!” then I realized what drew Hogan to me in the first place was flatulence. I guess I’ll take love however it comes my way.
According to a CNN report today, people who have watched the movie Avatar are experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts.
On the fan forum site “Avatar Forums,” a topic thread entitled “Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible,” has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie.
“I wasn’t depressed myself. In fact the movie made me happy ,” Baghdassarian said. “But I can understand why it made people depressed. The movie was so beautiful and it showed something we don’t have here on Earth. I think people saw we could be living in a completely different world and that caused them to be depressed.”
A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.
“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,” Elequin posted.
A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ”
Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.
I’ve experienced this kind of depression before (though not with “Avatar”), most notably after seeing “Les Miserables” for the first time and wanting to run away with the touring company. Come to think of it, some women in grad school quit four weeks into their first semester to become “RENT” groupies after seeing the show for every performance of its DC run. I think that was actually my fault.
Call it what you will – Post-Holiday Letdown, The Back-to-Reality Blues, The After-Event Crash – but I’m going to call it Marauders’ Guilt. I’m also going to suggest that people stop worrying about what disgusting things movie people are doing to a fictional planet and wake up to how we’re destroying our own. That, if anything, was James Cameron’s message. Be angry (and active) here; not in make-believe.
With .4 seconds left in 2008, The World Clock shows us the year in toto: what we’ve done, what we’ve lost, how we’ve grown (lord, how we’ve grown!), and how sick we’ve been.
HAPPY 2009, ALL!! (Make it a better one than 2008, or else!)
